Contest Has Ended! – WIN TIX to Kraftwerk 3-D @ Paramount Theatre [Seattle]

kraftwerk robots live

Hey kids!  You like the bloops and bleeps?!  How ’bout that electronic dance?  Maybe yer into that newfangled hip hop sound?  Well, whether you’re into more ambient electronica, indie dance music like LCD Soundsystem, the experimental spaced-out German kosmiche Musik scene, rap and hip hop, or even the synthed out redundant 80s revivalist bullshit that’s plaguing everything these days, they all owe some level of debt to Düsseldorf‘s musical innovators Kraftwerk.

Officially formed in 1970 by Ralf Hütter and Florian Schneider, the project was spawned out of the duo’s previous project, The Organisation, which incorporated more organic, percussive, expansive and loose, free jam components and sensibilities.  They only released one album, 1969‘s less than commercially successful Tone Float, but even then there were signs of what would come, like with the song “Noitasinagro,” which sounds as if it could have easily appeared on a Matmos release or The Books’ 2010 album, The Way Out, 41 years later.  With Kraftwerk‘s 1970 self-titled debut, Florian‘s flute still remained very much present, as they slipped into more proggy territories, at moments, while exploring eerie minimalist soundscapes throughout others.  Admirers of the work of electronic pioneer Karlheinz Stockhausen, their affinity for mixing elements of Musique concrète with electronics were beginning to surface, as well; at moments there are even really abrasive industrial sounds pounding at the listener, before regressing into beautiful glacial textures, or even full on drone.  Major contributors in the development and production of Germany‘s “krautrock” movement early on, they steadily progressed into a more streamlined act with a futuristic cybernetic aesthetic and feel, much different than some of the more animalistic, raw freak-out work of fellow seminal acts like Amon Düül II and CAN, or even the other more electronic focused acts like Cluster.  But while Kraftwerk adopted an increasingly “synthetic” sonic palette, it didn’t overly sterilize their creations; more than transforming humanoids into robots, the sound that they were presenting was one of providing a new life-force to electronics.

The massive global and cultural impact that Kraftwerk has achieved cannot be overstated.  When hip hop legend Afrika Bambaataa released the groundbreaking “Planet Rock” in 1982, it not only became one of the most influential hip hop tracks of all time it also earned him credit for helping to develop the genre of electro music.  The melody for “Planet Rock” was swiped directly from the title track of Kraftwerk‘s 1977 album Trans Europe Express (1977), while the 808 beat was derived from their song “Numbers” off of Computer World (1981).  “Get Innocuous,” the opener from LCD Soundsystem‘s 2007 hit album, Sound Of Silver, which you crazy kids all seem to like so much, is just strung together on backbone of the rhythm to “The Robots” from Kraftwerk‘s The Man-Machine.  And speaking of their 1978 effort, the red and black album cover of the fictional “techno-pop” group that Maude show’s the Dude in The Big Lebowski, is just a parody of The Man-Machine cover art.  The band’s name?  Autobahn–the title of a 1974 Kraftwerk release.  And these are just a couple of the more random examples apart from the massive impact that they’ve had on all forms of electronic music and its production across the board.  Kraftwerk created its own genre and paved the way for endless others to come into form.  They wrote music for the future and we still haven’t quite caught up to it.

I’ve been waiting a really fucking long time for the opportunity to catch these guys live and wasn’t convinced that it was ever going to happen; at least not as far as them coming out to the Seattle area.  On July 1st those of us who have been crossing our fingers will finally be rewarded, and with some sort of 3-dimensional live performance no less.  It’s being described as follows:

“The Kraftwerk live experience is a perfectly synchronised audio-visual spectacle complete with pristine digital sound and 3-D projections. It is a pure electronic art-rave.”

It sounds good to me, and apparently, plenty of others, because a second show has recently been added that night to accommodate the overwhelming response.  The even better news is that, thanks to our friends at STG Presents, we have a pair of tickets for that additional late night performance to give away to one of you folks for free.

[CLICK HERE to buy tickets]

kraftwerk 3d


*1 Winner will receive a pair of tickets to the following performance :

The Paramount Theatre – Seattle, Wa

Tuesday, July 1st, 2014 @ 10:30pm


This giveaway will center around the song “The Robots.”


The lyrics to the classic lead-off cut from the 1978 album The Man-Machine are delivered from the perspective of subservient androids, with such lines as:

We’re functioning automatic
and we are dancing mechanic


We are programmed just to do
anything you want us to

Your job as the entrant is to imagine that you have your own troop of cybernetic humanoid organisms at your disposal, and to let us know what you would do with them?  How do you utilize their services and abilities?  Be as simple or detailed as you like.  It’s up to you.


Post your answer in the comment section below.


There is no part 3. That’s all there is to the contest. It’s pretty easy… but you should probably read the fine print.

The Fine Print:

All entries must be received by Saturday, June 7th, 2014 at 11:59pm to be eligible.

You can enter as many times as you want, but use a valid email so that we can contact you.

If you sign in with Facebook, make sure that your account can accept a message from us.

Winner will be chosen arbitrarily, based on our personal “favorite.”

If you are not sure that you will be able to attend the show, do not enter!  You’d be surprised how often that shit happens and we don’t want these going to waste.

If we are unable to contact the winner in a reasonable amount of time, a new winner will be chosen. Good luck!

Dead C

Located in Seattle, Dead C is the founder/editor, as well as the principal writer and photographer, of Monster Fresh. Creating the site in 2007, he did so with a specific dream in mind. Unfortunately, being a muscle relaxer-fueled fever dream, it’s hard to recall all of the details.

I remember that my mom was there, but it wasn’t actually her in the dream, it was actually 70s heart throb, Jan Michael Vincent. And everything took place here, in this room… but it wasn’t actually here… it was different. The colors were washed out and, for some reason, there was a raccoon kicking it with us and it was wearing a holographic monocle.

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  • Puffin Daddy

    I would deploy the troops to remove hashtags from the online lexicon. Instead, they would replace them with an intuitive technology that knows what you’re wanting to learn more about and tells you information that you can passively consume. The man machines would get hired by google to work in their top secret laboratory when they build the next wave of technology that you eat. Your body absorbs the alien material and then you can communicate with others that eat the food. The cyborgs would find Billy Idol and make him play the Cyberpunk album in its entirety while on tour with Black Flag and the New Dead Kennedys as a super group. Just to mess with people, they’ll invite the Germs. It’ll be like 1980 and robots are on the hunt. Neil Young captured one but we got him now way in the future. It’ll be like the end of Vanilla Sky, except Tom Cruise will be free styling about the dancing robots. They all go to Disneyland and rebuild Star Tours, hide out on the ride, and form the new power generation cantina band.

    • Jeremy J. Freeman

      kick ass man!

  • sahairah

    I would amass my robot skeleton army to just crack jokes and be hilarious all day like Geoff Petersen on Craig Fergusons show.

  • Matthew Parker

    I would provide them with a recording device along with various found objects to develop new and exciting sounds in music. I’m not sure if I’d provide any examples of what our music sounds like. Maybe a basic description of organizing notes in a rhythmic, most often melodic way is all the direction I’d give them. Eventually I’d start providing some sources of inspiration in the form our recorded music and seeing what they could come up with. Here; listen to Throbbing Gristle and The Carpenters, then create something…

  • Paul

    I would have them dress up as modern primitives and smoke dried up lawn waste out of huge chalices that they constructed themselves for 15 credits at Evergreen.

  • Tricky Lemon Pie

    I’m so glad this is the topic BECAUSE I am in the process of creating cybernetic humanoid organisms in my lab. Great timing. For copyright purposes, I can only discuss certain but not all abilities of my soon-to-be patented humanoids. Here’s the sneak-peek: I have an army of humanoids whose sole purpose is to serve as “Groomers”. Yes, “Groomers”. They walk down city streets, town streets, anywhere they can find a sidewalk. They zoom in on all passersby to find anything amiss or out of place. If you have spinach or kale stuck in your teeth, a Groomer will gently tap you and explain that you need to pick green crap out of your teeth. It will even hold up a mirror and offer you a toothpick. Or say you have a booger in your nose. Or an eye crusty. Or a fly unzipped. Or toilet paper trailing on your shoe. Whatever. The Groomers are well aware of fashion trends — they understand holes in jeans, bra straps showing, unbuttoned/poorly buttoned shirts, sagging pants (why is that still a thing….) — they are are programmed to look out for fatal errors: crap in teeth, boogers, eye crusties, unzipped flies, toilet paper on shoes. No one likes that.
    I have also programmed the “Lovers”. Now don’t get too excited. This is not porn. They travel through neighborhoods, feeling and sensing. Yes, my technology is very advanced. They CAN feel and sense and *tune into* sadness, pain, regret, shame, anxiety, fear, remorse, guilt and unease. I can’t give away my lab secrets, but I will tell you that a yogi master helped me engineer the specific science of hormone levels and magnetic fields to understand how much “LOVE” our humanoids would need to apply to any given situation. It may seem cold, fake and heartless to program a technology called “LOVE”, but my logic says it is absolutely necessary given our current state of affairs. People, young and old, are becoming more and more receptive to technology. Some people (my adolescent male children for example) are much more likely to respond with attention to artificial stimuli, i.e. computers & phones, than to ME – their flesh & blood mother. My children are the people I love most in the world, so of course I designed this particular brand of humanoid with them in mind. Side note: at this time the “Lovers” are not designed to deal with highly volatile emotions such as rage and aggression — they give space to that kind of energy and when necessary they signal the authorities. I’m telling you, my robots are going to heal the world.
    A couple more “teasers” for you: The “Child Safety Monitors” — CSM for short. As you would expect, these humanoids roam all populated areas armed with first aid kits and a large supply of padded protection for youngsters to use in all forms of physical activity, be it biking, skateboarding, roller-blading/skating, ice-skating/blading (whatever), sports of any kind, swimming, or walking down the street. Again, these humanoids looks for fatal flaws — missing helmets, elbow/knee/shoulder pads, mouth-gaurds, shin-gaurds, goggles, shoelaces….you name it. Danger lurks around every corner, as every parent knows. Full body padding at all times would be the best solution for all children everywhere, but being that the cost and acceptance of that solution is unlikely, my CSM technology understands how to stay JUST inside the boundaries of overprotecting and potentially creeping out and pissing off our precious young people.
    My final sneak-peek is one that many scientists are working on all over the globe, but I’m not worried about the competition. My “SC1 Fembots” are highly superior. They are of course modeled to look like Robyn, the Swedish recording artist whose album Body Talk Pt.1 contains the hit song “Fembot”. She is the supreme muse for my brand of Fembots on account of her sexy voice, her cute short hair, her mischievous smile and slightly jagged teeth — and of course, her booty-shaking talent. And while it’s true, she does “got a lotta automatic booty applications” — she’s also super smart, funny, cool, discreet, charming and spontaneous. This will likely be my most popular and highest-grossing product, primarily because – you know – sex sells. I am thoroughly enjoying the process of perfecting her skills, as you can imagine. So now you can get excited, this is basically porn.
    I see my brand of Fembot as a tool for couples therapists worldwide, as well as the perfect companion for lonely singles everywhere. Her price tag is high, but I already have a backorder list complete with down payments for over 200 customers. I am well-known for my quality products and attention to detail, and once word got out about my newest invention, the demand came rolling in along with deposits that will keep me in business for a long time. Delivery is expected in early 2015. I just have a few kinks to work out, so to speak, such as her tendency to operate as a home-wrecker. Clinical studies are showing that she is more likely to make a woman leave her man for something better than to make a man leave his woman…..I’m not sure this is such a bad thing, but I do currently have a few annoying law suits on my plate from angry men whose unappreciated wives were involved in early product trials and given “treatment” from one of my Fembots. It is not surprising that many of them have decided to leave their lackluster relationships in order to embrace love and the lesbian lifestyle effective immediately. I can’t say that I blame them and I must admit that I do feel a little proud of myself — I can now add “Love Doctor” to my extensive list of credentials. I’ve paid my attorney with an SC1 Fembot of her very own, so I know she will work very hard to protect my assets and get the fellas who #shouldacouldawouldawhentheyhadthechance — off my plate and onto the cold hard ground.