CONTEST HAS ENDED! – Win Tickets to Action Bronson @ Neptune Theatre [Seattle]

action bronson smoke

Over the last couple of years, a 325lb Albanian/Jewish MC from Queens, NY, by the name of Action Bronson has been consistently gaining traction in the rap game.  Since he first entered the scene, favorable comparisons have been drawn between his delivery and that of the legendary Ghostface Killah, but as Bronson (born Ariyan Arslani) continues to push out one mixtape, EP, or collab after the other, he’s proven his own style to be increasingly unique, as well as more and more refined.  But if we’re talking about The WU, then the 28-year-old rapper’s identity might be more accurately associated with that of Raekwon “The Chef,” from the Staten Island crew.  Growing up in his family’s restaurant, Arslani eventually studied culinary arts at the Art Institute of New York and worked his way up in the restaurant business.  Consequently, many of his verses not only embrace the type of mafioso-style braggadocio  popularized by the likes of Raekwon, but also make reference to high-end cooking and ingredients.

The following excerpt via his press release, describes how he came to transition into a rap career in the first place:

While Bronson was a ravenous musical connoisseur who grew up admiring artists like Kool G. Rap, Cam’ron and Mobb Deep, he never contemplated rapping himself. But a few years back, he penned a satirical song over a Southern beat CD and the results were improbably impressive. With an oversized personality, intricate wordplay and the cagy charm of an outer-borough striver, he was a natural. And after a broken leg forced him out of the kitchen, Bronson began writing seriously. In 2007, joined with Mayhem Lauren and Jay Steele to release the Last of a Dyin’ Breed: Volume 1 mixtape under the collective name “The Outdoorsmen.”

Action Bronson is hitting the road in promotion of Blue Chips 2, his latest mixtape with producer, Party Supplies.  He will be hitting Seattle‘s Neptune Theatre on February 1st and, thanks to our friends at the Seattle Theatre Group, one of you jokers has the opportunity to win a pair of tickets and attend that show yourself.

[CLICK HERE buy tickets]

action bronson food head


*1 Winner will receive a pair of tickets to the following performance :

The Neptune Theatre – Seattle, Wa

Feb. 1st, 2014 @ 9pm


This giveaway will center around Action Bronson’s penchant for spitting verses about cooking up, serving up, and eating up delicacies.


Your mission as the entrant is to assemble your best culinary-related rap.  It can be just a bar or 2, or a much longer verse; you decide.

You can brag about your “skills,” explain why you deserve the tickets, or break down a conspiracy theory… whatever you want; it doesn’t matter to us.  It’s completely up to you, content-wise.

Using a random number generator and the wikipedia American episode list for the cooking competition show, Iron Chef, we’ve selected the secret ingredient/theme from episode #18 of Season #3, which is VENISON

Bonus points if you use the secret ingredient in your entry (it may help you edge out someone else).


Post your answer in the comment section below.


There is no part 3. That’s all there is to the contest. It’s pretty easy… but you should probably read the fine print.

The Fine Print:

All entries must be received by Wednesday, January 29th, 2014 at 11:59pm to be eligible.

You can enter as many times as you want, but use a valid email so that we can contact you. If you sign in with Facebook, make sure that your account can accept a message from us. Winner will be chosen arbitrarily, based on our personal “favorite.”

If you are not sure that you will be able to attend the show, do not enter!  You’d be surprised how often that shit happens and we don’t want these going to waste.

If we are unable to contact the winner in a reasonable amount of time, a new winner will be chosen.

Good luck!

Dead C

Located in Seattle, Dead C is the founder/editor, as well as the principal writer and photographer, of Monster Fresh. Creating the site in 2007, he did so with a specific dream in mind. Unfortunately, being a muscle relaxer-fueled fever dream, it’s hard to recall all of the details.

I remember that my mom was there, but it wasn’t actually her in the dream, it was actually 70s heart throb, Jan Michael Vincent. And everything took place here, in this room… but it wasn’t actually here… it was different. The colors were washed out and, for some reason, there was a raccoon kicking it with us and it was wearing a holographic monocle.

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  • Jesus Cobb

    Rappers claiming that they sick well guess what?
    I got the medicine
    Caught you staring in my headlights
    And I turn you into venison
    Claiming that you real,
    but really you acting feminine
    Thats why I stay serving y’all
    cuz really I am just a gentleman.
    That’s just some food for thought
    I mean what do y’all think
    I stick to the recipe and make zero mistakes
    bars hot enough to fry a carton of eggs
    Stand tall
    Make yo spirits fall, like a souffle.

  • Larry Scandabeg

    Toss my salad no lettuce, as the naked waitress serves me a plate of Flemish venison, with skewered komodo dragon on a bed of a ayahuasca, topped with a shot of cobra venom and cheetah adrenaline as a beverage, the pornacopia was heaven sent, Tibetan silk napkins for the elegance, unfrozen wooly mammoth steaks for the decadence, divine excellence of the chef’s pick of pheasant for breakfast, it’s reckless, as pussies wetten, I just speak on smacking booties and cheeks redden..

  • Wes

    Bar-based contest? My turn
    to win again

    Scarface pelicans fly in
    for Venison

    Oh dear, whoa deer, why
    you taste so gamey?

    Monster Fresh veggies
    washed down w/ Chardonnay be…

    …thee epitome of
    culinary pleasantry

    Appetizing fickle female
    tails walking pheasantly

    Must flirt

    The precursor for dessert

    Oh now it’s time for J’s
    like Eddie Levert

  • Jesus Cobb

    Furthermore I ain’t saying I’m the best
    But I’ve been kicking with Bronson ever since
    he was a chef
    And yall hopped on the bandwagon when you realized he was cooking up the best.
    Yall are some fake imitating fans
    Like some imitation crab
    Trynna take a bite out of every competition
    every time you get a chance
    You don’t wanna mess with me
    Bronsolino and I go way back
    Like family recipes

    • Larry Scandabeg

      Youz a ho now, I know you voted me down, wannabe battle rapper like it’s 1993, your rhyme schemes are like nursery rhymes, cuz obviously you are a nerdy guy, open your mouth lover as I fertilize your pearly whites, Jesus Maybe he’s wiiiiiide? maybe he’s thin? maybe it’s Maybelline shampoo eat me like venison caribou after I give you a something about Mary hair doo, there’s something about Larry that scares you.
      If you’re cockriding Bronson, why don’t you buy a ticket if you really want one, so an obese Albanian can fuck you with no condom, but you can’t because you’re a pauper, just a toddler, who’s your popper? ask Maurie Povich for the roster, but he can’t give you the answer bastard, I heard your momma was a track meat hooker street dancer, with a gash that look like crack turds, Jesus Cob can slob my nob until I beat my globs all over his verses, Jesus Cobb got butt hurt cuz he got served like his bitch heard it.

      • Jesus Cobb

        You mad..