ENDED! Win Tix to TRAILER PARK BOYS “Dear Santa Claus, Go F#ck Yourself” Live in Seattle


In 1999, filmmaker Mike Clattenburg wrote/directed the original Trailer Park Boys, a black and white mockumentary-style film which chronicled the lives of Ricky (Rob Wells) and Julian (John Paul Tremblay), two small-time hoods living in a trailer park in Dartmouth, Novia ScotiaCanadian cable network, Showcase saw it’s potential and, after being approached with the proposition, agreed to run the Trailer Park Boys as a series.  A few changes were made, including filming in color and the incorporation of Bubbles (Mike Smith), a character taken from the early Clattenburg short film The Cart Boy.  Throughout its 7 year run (2001 – ’07 ) TPB gained legions of fans and spawned 2 more films, with the legendary Ivan Reitman (Ghostbusters, Stripes, etc) operating as executive producer.  The last season was followed by a 1hr special called “Say Goodnight to the Bad Guys” at the end of 2008, which was officially supposed to mark the conclusion of the series.  The following year saw the release of the film Countdown to Liquor Day, and that was finally supposed to be the end of it… but it wasn’t.

After successfully transitioning from film to a TV series and back, the 3 main stars set out to translate their routine into a live stage show titled, Ricky, Julian and Bubbles Community Service Variety Show.   In 2010 we had our opportunity to experience how well they were able to make the latest jump, first hand [read that review HERE].  That live tour was successful enough for them to follow it up with a new one–“The Ricky, Julian and Bubbles, Drunk, High and Unemployed Tour“– last year, that even included a stop at the 2011 Sasquatch! Festival.  That tour coincided with a completely new program called The Drunk and on Drugs Happy Funtime Hour, in which the 3 main actors played characters loosely based on themselves.  The new show was a completely different and generally more chaotic animal, but it still wasn’t enough to quench the public’s thirst, because people just love those characters from TPB waaay too much to ever want to let them go.  Fortunately for them, they still don’t have to.  The boys are embarking on a brand new seasonally relevant live tour titled, Trailer Park Boys’ Ricky, Julian and Bubbles “Dear Santa Claus, Go F#ck Yourself” Tour.  This time around, the primary characters of Ricky (the dope smoking/selling jailbird in a consistently torn shirt), Julien (the tight black t-shirt wearing, small-time crime mastermind with a cocktail in his hands at all times), and Bubbles (the coke-bottle glasses wearing, shack dwelling, cat lover) are being joined live by their drunken nemesis Mr Lahey and his shirtless pot-bellied sidekick Randy.

Want to catch the tour for free when it makes its stop at the Moore Theatre in Seattle on November 30th?  We might be able to help you oot with that; our friends at the STG Presents have provided us with a pair of tickets to giveaway to one of you!  How aboot that, eh?



*One winner will receive a pair of tickets to see the following show:

Trailer Park Boys’ Ricky, Julian and Bubbles “Dear Santa Claus, Go F#ck Yourself” Tour
Live @ The Moore Theatre
Seattle, Washington
Nov. 30, 2012


This contest will focus around the fact that Thanksgiving is around the corner, as well as on the title of the tour itself.



Most likely, Thanksgiving is either rapidly approaching, is currently happening, or will have just happened by the time that you’re reading this.  A lot of people are being grateful right now, regardless of how terrible and fucked up their years have been.  Your mission as an entrant is to do the complete opposite.  What we need you to do is write a note to Santa Claus telling him why he can go fuck himself.  It can be as long or short and direct as you like.


Post your answer in the comment section below.


There is no part 3. That’s all there is to the contest. It’s pretty easy… but you should probably read the fine print.


The Fine Print:

All entries must be received by Tuesday November 27th at 11:59 pm to be eligible.
You can enter as many times as you want, but use a valid email so that we can contact you.
If you sign in with Facebook, make sure that your account can accept a message from us.
Winner will be chosen arbitrarily, based on our personal “favorite”, so try to be interesting.

If you are not sure that you will be able to attend the show, do not enter!  You’d be surprised how often that shit happens and we don’t want these going to waste.

If we are unable to contact the winner in a reasonable amount of time, a new winner will be chosen.
[If you have any intentions to post comments asking us to pick you, or asking when the winner will be announced… how about, just don’t do it? It gets pretty obnoxious and it won’t help your chances.]

Did you know that “Dear Santa Claus, Go Fuck Yourself” was originally used as the title for a Trailer Park Boys special that was released back in 2004?  It was supposed to be set in 1997 and actually filled in some really key elements that relate to the regular series, showing Lahey before he was a drunk/his breakup with Barb, explaining how Randy first entered the picture, and even featuring J-Roc before he became the park’s local hip-hop phenom and was simply a goofy Canadian known as Jamie.  Haven’t seen it?  Well, here’s the whole fucking thing.

Dead C

Located in Seattle, Dead C is the founder/editor, as well as the principal writer and photographer, of Monster Fresh. Creating the site in 2007, he did so with a specific dream in mind. Unfortunately, being a muscle relaxer-fueled fever dream, it’s hard to recall all of the details.

I remember that my mom was there, but it wasn’t actually her in the dream, it was actually 70s heart throb, Jan Michael Vincent. And everything took place here, in this room… but it wasn’t actually here… it was different. The colors were washed out and, for some reason, there was a raccoon kicking it with us and it was wearing a holographic monocle.

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  • Rob Overman

    Dear Santa, or Nick, or Fat Man.
    Christmas in its current state, is shitty. I’m content with hanging with my peoples, getiing drunk, exchanging a cheap gift or two over a light potluck gathering. I don’t want a blanket , socks, candy canes, socks, cheap assed cologne, or socks. Wait…….. did I mention NO FUCKIN’ SOCKS!?! You’ve only given me 280 pairs , minimum. Jesus, man!!!. I simply want to see Trailer park Boys on Nov 30th at the Moore in Seattle WA. The plan is to hang with my peoples, get drunk, exchange a cheap joke or two, and see Jim Lahey get ridiculed here in the “Emerald Shit City”. Money is a bit tight as my girlfriend is a full time student. i can afford 4 tix this week but I need 2 more, as I want for us all to enjoy the show more than I’d like a raise. So put down the greasy sugary shit you’ve been peddling and send the other fuckin’ tickets my way!

    my FB page:


  • Dear Santa(n)-

    Every year all i want is too get drunk and high on xmas, but all i ever get is contempt and crap… can i please have tix to the show??

    PS- Go fuck yerself!

    Love, Dave (dldaudio@gmail.com)

  • Dear Santa,
    You told me there was only one way to get off the naughty list! Well, I sucked on your “special candy cane” that was zipped up in your secret pocket. And I still don’t have that f#!%@$& pony! GO FUCK YOURSELF SANTA!

    From Kelsy

  • Bobby

    Dear Santa Claws

    What in the fuck is ur problem too good to deliver some
    presents to a trailer park I appose. Well guess what you rudalph, pantser,
    dancer, blitsin, kammed and cupid, all
    the elfs and Ms. Claws can go fuck ur selves. Last year I got my grade 9 and
    asked for the New Aero-12 Hydroponics System but what the fuck did I get?
    Arrested, again, no hydroponics, no smokes, not even a bag of chicken fingers.
    What the fuck. I mean I was drunk, and high off my ass on the wrong side of the
    freeway, but the cops were complete dicks and didn’t even let me tell my side a
    the story which is complete bullshit I was trying to go get the dope from
    terry, but that’s aside the point and the point is I didn’t get the hydroponic
    gear so when I got out of jail I had no way to get my dope business up and
    runnin again. This year I didn’t get arrested once beside at the park fund
    raiser bullshit, but that wasn’t my fault how was I appose to know I couldn’t
    set my own car on fire to keep my family warm, well its bullshit and I don’t think it counts. But I did a lota book readin this year and haven’t been smoking dope as much just on weekends
    and holidays or if im outta cigaretes and if im stressed out about Lahey and
    randy on my ass but that’s pretty much it. Look the point is I been cleanin up
    my act and getting my shit together, im gonna pass my grade 10 with flying
    carpets, peach and cake, I just need a couple packs of smokes so I can focus on
    book learnin and school and not be getting all stressed out and getting
    arrested. So Santa DICK all i want is a
    6 or 7 packs of smokes so I can get my brain cleared and get even more smarter
    than I already did this year and maybe even get my grade 11 next year so if you
    want to be all cherpy and merry like ur appose to be and help me out this year
    id apeachiate it but if not…Knock, Knock Santa…………………………….GO FUCK YOURSELF.



  • Alexa

    Dear Santa,

    Last year, all i got to do for Christmas was bail Ricky out of jail, again, so go fuck yourself for that santa. All I want for Christmas this year is a real man, I’m sick and tired of all these losers running around the park calling themselves men. Ricky is a no good low life, that is a horrible father, and only cares about his dope that he can’t even grow. I need a real man Santa, one that cares when I get knocked up. Please, give me a man that can actually grow dope or has a real job like a trailer park supervisor or something, a man who can take me out to dinner once in a while, and someone to help me take care of Trinity, and maybe a batch of weed brownies in my stocking.

    Love Lucy

  • Bill Foster

    Hey Santa,

    Go fuck yourself. No, really… go fuck yourself. Christmas is the shittiest holiday of the year. It’s cold. It’s always fucking raining. The music sucks. Traffic sucks. DUI fatalities are at their highest. Ditto for house fires. You know who you can go wish a Merry Fucking Christmas? Little Sally who is now motherless after her dipshit mom got trampled trying to snag her brat a Tickle Me Elmo on Black Friday. That’s your doing Santa. You’re the reason for a full month of materialism and selfishness. God is dead and so is his son. You should follow suit. If you can’t spare us that dignity, at least do us a favor and fuck off back to the North Pole. Go fuck your ugly wife or at the very least go fuck yourself.

  • dane

    dear sinterklaas,

    fuck off.


    ps quit the “santa” bullshit