For the better part of a month, an adobe flash map has been going apeshit on PHISH.com and the phans are going even crazier. Nothing else has been announced beyond what the image implies: [There will be a 3-Day Festival from Oct. 30-Nov. 1] “But where is the festival being held?” you ask? That’s exactly the point; nobody seems to know for sure. One or more of the states are slowly being blacked out on the map at a time, usually in some elaborate fashion. Some ways in which they have been removed are: a pinball ricocheting around and smacking into them, a lawnmower or segway(?) passing over, devoured by fire ants, and, sometimes, the States just blow the fuck up like an Al Qaeda attack. People are checking in daily like the map was a goddamn Christmasadvent calendar filled with chocolates. No other band but PHISH could pull something like this off. They blow a shit ton of money on a festival, don’t even announce what portion of the country it will be located in, and they still have people going Harriet the Spy on this bitch and scouring the virtual globe, like Carmen San Diego just hopped a cessna after kidnapping their only child. The thing about them is that, although they are being cocky as fuck with it, they always back it up and the PHISH Halloween shows have become legendary.Throughout the majority of this stunt, there was a general consensus that all signs were pointing to the Empire Polo Fields in Indio, Ca (the same place that Coachella is held). There is even a rumor that the band is scheduled to perform on The Tonight Show with, Phish fan, Conan Obrien. If this is true and they WILL already be in the LA area, then it definitely helps add credibility to the theory. Many were so certain about the location that hotel reservations in the Indio area were booked excessively just based on that prospect. A few days ago, however, California was removed from the map and that sent new speculation all over the place again. Many people still stubbornly believe that the festival will be held in Indio regardless, and I happen to also believe that its a huge possibility myself. While every other State has tended to be destroyed, in one way or another, California was simply lifted from the map by hot air balloons and transported gently out of view. By out of view I mean that it was actually still on the screen. First brought to my attention by a member of the Phantasy Tour message board by the name of “ZZYZX!“, if the screen was zoomed out, after Cali had been lifted, the State still appeared to be floating soundly above the text “SAVE THE DATE“. Some people think that it may have been lazy programming or a glitch, but others think that it means something and that, once the other states are blown to shit, California will lowered back down and into place. I had no expectation of the festival ever being held in Washington State (that would be way too convenient) so, when the fire ants took it down, I didn’t think much of it. Later, I discovered that Indio has had a long standing issue with South American Fire Ants and they have been fucking with the agriculture. Why does this matter? Because Indio has been a tremendous supplier of the nations date crop, which has been endangered over the years by multiple factors. That’s right, “DATE” crops. “Save The Date” is thought to be a clever pun/hint regarding the issues that the region has been facing. Other signs include the image of the ship, which took out Ohio and Kansas and is believed to represent a legend of buried ships in the Indio area, and multiple other agriculture related themes. Beyond the crazy detective work exhibited on the Phantasy Tour board, a site by the name of Jamtopia has been doing some speculating of their own, as well as chronicling the progress of forums like PT. Jamtopia‘s Todd Levy has suggested a possible connection of the recent dart board imagery to a company called Diversity Arrays Technology (aka: DArT) which uses a dart board as their logo. A major focus of the company is creating the science to aid in plant breeding.Will the festival be in Texas? Florida perhaps? Will they just do it East Coast festival style and give the finger to everyone on the West Coast again? Could be Vegas, because they have done multiple night runs there before, including a 1998 Halloween performance where they covered the Velvet Underground album Loaded in its entirety. Then again, many have attributed the chaos created at the Vegas shows as part of their breakup. By all accounts, I probably should have died at the last Vegas run, myself. Where ever it is, everyone seems to think that they know something. Apparently, everyone has some “inside source” or some form of “Find The Cap’n” decoder ring to prove that they “know” the truth about what’s about to go down. The crazy thing is, with all of these different “experts”, there are still multiple different assumptions.
What do you think? It’s coming down to the wire folks! I sent a tweet to Mike Gordon asking him to just give up the scoop and spill his guts, but I’m pretty sure that isn’t going to do shit. I have provided a little poll below so we can see where everybody is at with their thoughts. Feel free to leave comments below stating your views about this chaos or anything else on your mind.
Where The PHUCK is it Already?!
I still think it's in Indio. I'm convinced! (41%, 86 Votes)
Who gives a shit?! Stop tripping and just wait to figure it out. The suspense is half of the fun. (23%, 48 Votes)
It's definitely gonna be somewhere else. Let it go! (22%, 46 Votes)
Your revolution is over Mr. Lebowski. Condolences, the bums lost. My advice to you is to do what your parents did and get a job sir! (14%, 29 Votes)
Located in Seattle, Dead C is the founder/editor, as well as the principal writer and photographer, of Monster Fresh. Creating the site in 2007, he did so with a specific dream in mind. Unfortunately, being a muscle relaxer-fueled fever dream, it's hard to recall all of the details.
"I remember that my mom was there, but it wasn't actually her in the dream, it was actually 70s heart throb, Jan Michael Vincent. And everything took place here, in this room... but it wasn't actually here... it was different. The colors were washed out and, for some reason, there was a raccoon kicking it with us and it was wearing a holographic monocle."