*Broadcast Temporarily Interrrupted*
I can understand that some may have chosen to add malicious attacks and comments under this article but I don’t plan to respond to them, unless of course they are directed towards me and then…I might, because then it’s just funny. You may feel that my intentions in this article may have been dishonorable at best, but I wish no ill will towards anyone.
Sarah may have rubbed me the wrong way at times but I have no negative feelings towards her, believe it or not. I wasn’t going to come out here like Capt. Save-a-ho and write an article defending random attacks by strangers on the internet when I wrote it, but I was trying to humanize this rampant frenzy to search out her history and to stabilize it if I could. I tried to show her in the truthful light of someone that everyone could be familiar with. No need to turn her into a GOD or to turn her into a DEMON. She’s just a regular ass human, and guess what?….so is George Clooney.
If you are tremendously hurt or inspired by anything either of them do that is broadcasted through the media which paints them in either light, the only real problems that you have do not come from these people, who you will never likely come in contact with in real life, it comes for your own issues. There’s a show for that, it’s called Dr. Phil. Sorry they cancelled Lilith Fair.
I will not censor your comments, I am against that fully, but don’t expect me to feed into them either, positively or negatively. Maybe another mistake on my part is that I am failing to remove this article, but I do take great time and effort to compose my articles and thoughts and I view them as my own form of art. Words to me are something that I can form and something that I can create or express with, even if I can’t afford a $2,500 wacom tablet or expensive musical equipment. If you think my writing is shit…that’s cool. I think most film today is shit and most of the celebrities that people worship are talentless hacks. This is my forum which you are welcome to visit and comment on as you see fit. That’s all that it is; that and a forum for friends of mine whose views that I respect. I hope people are enjoying it. Maybe you’ll enjoy another article, maybe you don’t give a fuck. Either way thanks for visiting and I appreciate your time.
Now that I’ve said that, you are very welcome to continue
I woke up Saturday morning when my phone rang at 9:13 pacific standard time. It was a message from my friend KB Smooth texting me from Rhode Island. The message said “Sarah Larson is dating George Clooney…” I got up and went to my computer. I searched on line to find pictures of Sarah and Clooney at a celebrity coctail party in Venice for the release of his new film Michael Clayton, where they were hanging out with Spike Lee, Bill Murray, and Richard Gere. Everything else that I found on the internet about her dating Clooney, refers to her as a “mystery girl“. No one seems to know anything about her except her name and age (28) but they seem to be searching frantically. Some refer to her as a possible “Go-Go dancer” but without confirmation. I don’t understand the intense interest, but I can say one thing; she’s not much of a fucking mystery. I’ve known her since she was 10.
The main difference was that she had a side-pontytail when I met her 2 years prior. The photo above is from our 7th grade Junior High year book. You may be thinking, “Damn! That’s fucked up. I can’t believe you posted that photo on the internet.” If you have this year book, then you know that I don’t have room to talk shit because my picture is actually worse. Yeah, I know, it was 1991 and it was a long time ago. If you think about it though, what’s really fucked up is that, at the time when the picture was taken, George Clooney was already a suave 30 yr old adult man with sideburns who was playing Booker Brookes on Roseanne. That’s 2 years older than Sarah is right now. When I was 6 years old and pretending that I was StreetHawk, this cat actually got to appear on an episode. That same year he started his 2 year run on the Facts of Life for crissakes! If Alan Thicke wrote the theme song to a show that you were a major character on, then you’ve been around for a minute. Hell, he was even getting acting gigs before I was a fetus floating next to a dangerous IUD.It’s wierd seeing somebody that you’ve known for almost 20 years in photographs romantically linking them with an Oscar winner. Sarah and I have attended the same schools since elementary and all the way up through college. We even lived in the same house at one point. She dated a former bandmate of mine for 6 years and was my ex-girlfriend’s best friend for years as well. We’ve been on road trips. Now everyone is so fascinated with her. I know why the people who know her are, but the rest of you…what’s the deal? What the fuck do you really want to know? She’s just some broad from Kent, a town located between Seattle and Tacoma Washington. A town, when we were growing up there, that had something to prove. When people live in a suburb like that, they like nothing more than to go to parties, get drunk off of their parents shitty beer and punch eachother in the throat.
The same day I found out about her new popularity, my mom told me that she was on the cover of People magazine and, later on E!, she was shown in a brief clip. I had been at work all day, however, before I left I had emailed a couple of publications stating simply that I knew her. I got a response and I spoke on the phone a couple of times with one publication in particular. It was insane. I was just interested in the process at first but I started to get swept away with the whole situation. I held back with info trying to see what they would say to me and, basically, trying to read the British man on the other end of the line. It was a little shady right off the bat. I got questions like “Would you say she was a maneater?” and gave responses like, “Um…no, I wouldn’t say that she was a ‘man eater‘…” Eventually, after being awakened early on my day off with a phone call, I said that I wouldn’t link him up with an ex-boyfriend of hers unless I heard something solid instead of bullshit. I got a monetary offer and a contract was sent to my friend. I don’t like feeling like I’m on the other end of a hustle and, although money is nice, neither of us (the ex-boyfriend and I) were out to destroy or hurt anyone, so we basically both decided not to take the cash or to deal with them further. Plus, when you sign a contract like that, there is a clause where you can’t speak about your story to anyone for at least 3 months afterwards. That means that if they twist your shit around, which they will inevitably do, you can’t make a rebuttal anywhere else publically. Fuck it! It wasn’t enough to build my bronze statue in which I’m holding a giant lazer anyway. I’m spilling my guts here instead. In my own forum and in the appropriate context. I don’t really “hate” anyone, but I do know that all of this shit is going to be pouring out soon from one direction or another.
I lived in a house near Lake Meridian and Sarah lived about 3 houses away. Her family was nice enough and she was the oldest of 3 sisters. She also has a little brother and a step dad. Her mom had remarried after a divorce due to Sarah’s dad being gay and remarrying another man. It was actually very interesting because he had lived for a long time with the AIDS virus and, as I recall, scientists were interested in finding out why so that they could learn something more about the disease. I believe that he eventually died around 2002 or ’03. This should be the one thing, if anything, that should really draw some sympathy for her, but I don’t know how something like that is printed for a headline. It’s most likely in a shady manner, and I know that the tabloids are already aware of this to a certain degree because I was asked directly about it.
There is a post from a guy calling himself Pizza T on the internet, who not only calls himself a “hippy thug” but also claims that he dated Sarah for 6 years. Sites are wondering if it’s true because they haven’t been able to “confirm” it. Fuck, I’ll “confirm” it right now. It’s true. Their relationship started in High School. Our high school was fucked up too. You were either living in a country club, crazy ghetto broke and hood, or stuck being left in the middle like the rest of us. I was even supposed to walk at graduation with Sarah but, since the school hated me, I was barely allowed to walk at all. I walked by myself as the last student behind a kid in a wheel chair.
Sarah wasn’t rocking $3 million dollars worth of Bulgari jewels back then, she was wearing hemp necklaces, listening to the Grateful Dead, and attending Phish concerts. When I was 18 I got in my car with some friends, her boyfriend at the time included, and I travelled around California for about 3 months, scamming fast food, sleeping in my Datsun 510 with the fake Jaguar hood ornament, using psychedelics, and getting into free concerts. Sarah made a few trips down from Kent to see Tommy (Pizza T) visit, camp, etc. I wasn’t in a band with Tommy yet, but the majority of the people on the trip were. The band was called MUSIC and we would set up shows and they would play them in random towns we’d hit up on the trip. We were notorious for making offensive and/or low quality flyers to advertise. It was 1997 and quite a few such flyers that we made were contsructed from game pieces for contests at a fast food chain that I used to like to scam food from. The game pieces had photos of characters from a big movie that was out that summer. The movie was Batman and Robin starring, none other than George Clooney.
This photo of Sarah above is from that summer tour. It was taken at a spot called Whole in the Wall in Garberville, Ca where we had all slept that night. Some random middle aged naked guy showed up and decided to lounge out for a tan and we actually only took this picture of her so that we could snap him in it and remember that day. That brings me to a quick point. Sarah looks a lot tanner now and her hair isn’t blonde anymore, like it used to be. Another issue that it brings up is that, this was taken 10 years ago and I can’t seem to easily find any pictures of her that are more recent. She was there all of time but nobody seemed to feel the need to hold on to any pictures of her. Around this time I was closer to almost anyone else but her. I was a lot closer with her boyfriend and I actually met him through her. She, unfortunately, began to take on more of the role as someone’s girlfriend who complained a lot. The girl who, when everyone was hanging out and being dirty and happy and crazy and whatever else, seem to be bringing people down. We didn’t give a fuck about anything back then. It was a good time, in fact, it will always be one of the best times of my life. Things were new and exciting, but the metalic nagging shriek of, “TOMMY!” will always ring around like loose change in my memory bank. She was becoming a girl who’s bullshit and complaining sucked everyone into the drama of a relationship that they weren’t even in, through mere proximaty. This feeling continued pretty much until the last time I saw her which was years and years later.
Sure, we’ve kicked it by ourselves in more that one situation and gotten along alright, so I can definitely say that having a significant other there to fire off demands at played a part in lowering her social value, and that’s understandable. She has also played a mediator in a few situations of drama, but I wouldn’t say that was enough to cancel out the amount of drama that she had, at times, created herself. This is why I guarantee her past to unfold in no time. If you are one of the friends that was bitched about, or had to be approached by your friend on behalf of his girlfriend The 2 Coreys style, you have quite a bit of built up anger towards her. If you remember some of the specific drama you might be ready to blow.
Everyone knew she was prone to complaining and frustration, but when “Pizza T” arrived to school at Green River Community College one day after she had punched him in the face and left noticeable proof, it took it to another level. Obviously, he didn’t want to talk about it for too long at the time, it’s not the proudest moment you can have, but he did tell me what happened. She simply got upset about something trivial and punched him. Later, he called her out saying things like, “You fucking punched me in the head, Sarah!” It reminded me of Nanny 911 where things have gone too far and you can’t reverse time, all you can do is try to explain why what they did was excessive and wrong, all the while knowing that you can’t teach them why it’s wrong but can only help them learn that they can’t pull shit like that anymore. Later when we all moved to Olympia to attend The Evergreen State College shit escalated.
A bunch of us lived in a house on North St. across from a Masonic Lodge and down the street from the old Tumwater Brewery. It was a house where the rent was cheap because, otherwise, the owners would have had to pay to make it liveable for humans. There was a giant marijuana tapestry on the ceiling of the living room and from the street, you could see armed Marines in camo face-paint, which were cut from recruitment posters and taped in the windows like they were guarding the house. It was a shit hole and I slept on a couch that was always at least a little damp for some reason. A far cry from a Venice Coctail party. Sarah was always a little high maintenance for our crew, yet she lived in shitty places like this with us. She would talk with Tommy about how she wanted things in the house to be a certain way, or someone to move out, etc. etc. but she moved into a house that others lived in and tried to change it. Everyone else wanted her out because she would yell at everyone. General rule of thumb for anyone: If someone is not fucking you then they don’t have to put up with your shit. It got to the point where, if she ever even approached me with anything I would respond bluntly and firm to whatever she said, and make it clear that I wasn’t going to go into a conversation and listen to any of it. If I didn’t already agree, I don’t already agree, I don’t want anyone to try and work me over. She eventually moved out. She always needed everyone to tend to her and people weren’t getting sympathetic, they were getting pissed. Her powers didn’t work on me. She was just some chick I’d known for years and I was never attracted to her. She always kind of looked like a Gelfling to me anyway, but if she could work sympathy out of her looks she would have. You can’t really blame her, people adjust by what they are shown in through environments.
Sarah eventually rented a room in a house where one of our other good friends and former roommates had moved. There was a garage turned dance studio there. Sarah was still sewing up sundresses and trying to be earthy. She was studying an East Indian dance called Orisi which she would often bust out in the most innappropriate moments. Her “best friend” was my live-in girlfriend and we had our own place at that time. There were situations where I would reluctantly agree to go over to her place and have dinner. She would subtley put down my girlfriend in front of her and would always seem to try and show off her dance moves or body in some way. If I left the room to sit down, she would be in front of me in minutes shaking her hips and blocking my views/pathways. I wanted to put a gun to my dome in those situations. Sarah had made a few advances or inappropriate gestures towards me, even in front of the girlfriend and regardless of the fact that her boyfriend and I were friends. I became resentful in ways because, to me, it seemed like she could be very domineering towards my lady. I always felt that she would use her to make herself feel better. Her advances towards me may not have been necessarily “sexual”, but they were definitely innappropriate. I honestly believe that at the heart of everything was a need for focus and attention to be on her. I don’t think that she could even accept that someone loved someone else that was a good friend of hers, because the attention wasn’t all about her. It wasn’t about me or anyone else, I don’t think, I think it was about having the focus towards her at all times. If you disrespect someone that I love, I lose respect for you, it’s that simple. It’s quite possible that she had a lot going on, herself, that she didn’t verbalize within my earshot.
Sarah eventually hooked up with our former roommate of ours that she was living with in the new house now. Tommy found out and all hell broke loose, as you could imagine. They had been together for 6 years and it ended like that. At that point I was in a band with Pizza T and he would make all of his dramatic and drawn out phonecalls to her from my house. This was probably because I had more of a chill and welcoming environment to deal with such manners in than the chaotic environment he was living in. This was a bad time for me because, since Sarah was “best friends” with my girlfriend, she was always over as well. This drama eminated from my house and I didn’t want it there. I would often comment that I didn’t feel comfortable with her coming over anymore.
I’m still friends with the guy she wound up hooking up with, in fact. I haven’t even talked to Tommy in 2 years. We had a huge falling out which resulted in him blocking me from accessing our bands myspace page and posting bulletins and emails telling everyone (approx. 4,000 fans) that I had died of AIDS. Yeah, were are not friends, but that doesn’t mean that I’m not going to tell this story the way that I saw it. He got fucked over pretty hard and took it pretty hard. The guy she had transitioned to is the one that I’ve been talking with and who turned down offers to talk with publications. Interesting things are coming out from talks with everyone about this whole Clooney situation. The second boyfriend told me that he didn’t even know, until I just told him, that Sarah was still dating Tommy when they hooked up. I was catching the situation from all angles so I know that he sure as fuck thought they were. She said that they hadn’t been together for 3 months but I saw them together all of the time just prior. My girlfriend had seen them together regularly too, but she would relay bullshit like that to me from Sarah. “Well, she says they haven’t been together for 3 months.” Whatever. That’s a random things that some women decide. Don’t guess when you started dating ever! You started dating the minute that they decided that they wanted to in their own heads. Same thing when you break up. If they had decided at some point that they should break up with you and then find someone that they would rather fuck, it’s over and they “already told you“. It helps if they cut you off for a week or so first. That way they can always say that you knew about it. The logic is more than flawed, sure, but I can’t even say that she didn’t believe it. My girlfriend eventually went batshit psycho crazy and disappeared from our home one day. I should have seen it coming she used that same logic on me eventually. Another thing that they both did have in common as friends was that they were a little flighty. They hardcore believed in fairies and wanted to do shit like, “paint magic in the woods” or whatever other mystical bullshit they could think of. My ex-girlfriend once told me that she had actually left milk out for those fucking fairies and Sarah would tell me about transcending her physical body and travelling in spirit form around her house. Maybe they believe that they didn’t cheat on anyone. I don’t know maybe they didn’t. Maybe we don’t have the “magic potions” to see reality. Maybe, but I took the same “magic potions” that they did and probably more of it.
This was all around 2001. From a psychological standpoint, I would say the following. Sarah had been in a 6 year relationship and wanted to move out of it into something “new”. Tommy had the same issues, this was their only really serious relationship. The problems were that she didn’t have the integrity or sense to handle it correctly, from what I saw, and he was allowing it to continue and to be disrepected out of fear of the unknown without her. That’s what happens. It’s your first serious relationship. I got fucked over myself, it’s logical. Sometimes people actually don’t know how to hurt someone to theri face and make young, foolish decisions. Sarah‘s rude awakening happened when she thought that she could pull the same shit on the new guy and it didn’t fly. I know that she had lashed out and tried to strike him in the past too. He blocked it once and she hurt her self. She wasn’t always out punching everyone and being violent, but she was definitely known to trip and act a fool. She had become accustomed to having someone take whatever abuse she chose to dish out, and so she vented in that manner. He kicked her to the curb. The two guy’s became friends again and I saw Sarah out of default, until my girlfriend cooked us up lives as transient mental basketcases.
Last time that I saw Sarah was right after she hooked up with some goon named Dan Randolph. I met him twice, I think. I believe that they came into the Rang Dong once which, in it’s heyday, was the greatest Vietnamese Karaoke bar of all time. He didn’t seem to be very interesting or fitting. They moved to Vegas. Next I hear, she’s on Fear Factor shortly after. She actually wins after that guy basically carries her. Here’s where some debate comes into play. The Fear Factor site labels Sarah Larson as a “Go-Go dancer“. Pizza T‘s letter denies this claim, but it’s just wishful thinking. How would he know? Sorry but it’s true. If you don’t want to hear that and you believe that everything you’ve read on the internet is true, you can stop now. I died of AIDS 2 years ago, so who gives a shit about what I’m about to type anyway? A source I know who worked at the production company for Fear Factor told me that she was scouted Go-Go dancing. I was informed that they actually had to call her down off of a pole to offer her a spot on the show. The problem with tabloids and media is that it’s like the game of telephone. Go-go dancer can be changed very easily into a stripper when skewed. From there, that get’s morphed into hooker and eventually you are a crack whore murderer running a child-porn ring. Apparently, Cocktail waitress gets morphed into Actress/Model fairly easily too, because as far as anyone I know is informed, that’s a load of bullshit too. That’s why nobody can find anything on her, because they are typing in “actress/model” on their search engines, instead of “Random Chicks From Kent“.
With questions like, “Does she want to hide her background?” being asked by Hollywood, she’s becoming an enigma. I don’t know if she is trying to hide anything. I do know that she doesn’t look that comfortable in the pictures that I’ve seen. It’s got to be an overwhelming experience to have to absorb for someone. Maybe nobody has asked her anything. Last I heard she was supposed to marry that guy she was on Fear Factor with, but that obviously didn’t happen. She got a B.S. degree from Evergreen and then up and moved to Vegas. I’m not trying to attack or hurt anyone, but I’m not ashamed of my background and I’ve been in a mental health unit. Then again, I’m not trying to be a politician or a Hollywood darling. She’s just a girl who had occasionally displayed some selfish tendancies and became clearly too high maintenance for the crowd she was involved with. Maybe she felt that she wanted to get “somewhere” even if she didn’t know where that place was. Maybe all that she knew was that her current environments weren’t gong to nurture that. Most likely, she didn’t really piece it together all that in depth, but rather just reacted. She didn’t have a severe drug addiction, or drown a baby. It’s not that interesting. What’s interesting to me is that she went from E to E!, from Patchouli to Prada, from Orisi to Go-go….actually, her Orisi always had quite a bit of Go-Go in it. I say, “Good luck in the game?” I personally would represent where I came from and maybe she will. If I was in her position, I wouldn’t be worrying about how mysterious I might appear to the public. At this point, especially with such drastic transitions, I would be wondering about if I was still a mystery to myself. Your background only has an effect of you if you want something specific to happen. If you are a gangster rapper, the public finding out that you haven’t offed anyone can actually fuck up your career, but, like the slogan for the new Clooney film Michael Clayton states “The Truth Can Be Adjusted“. If anyone knows that, it’s the media.