A few years ealier, my family had acquired a VHS copy of Bill & Teds Bogus Journey, most likely by dubbing it off of Encore or the Starz Network.  Primus only appeared briefly, during the battle of the bands sequence of the film and, although it only featured mere seconds of Les Claypool singing the last few lines of Tommy The Cat, I would watch it repeatedly.  Just that brief clip fragment.  Over and over.  Rewind and Re-Rewind.  A decade and half after this appearance Les Claypool actually wrote, directed, scored, and edited an original film of his own.  When it eventually came, the film arrived in the form of a mockumentary about a struggling jamband.

The film, Electric Apricot: Quest For Festeroo, originally premiered in 2006 with some extremely limited showings.  Q & A’s and appearances with the musician/filmmaker were included with showings in such locations as Portland, Oregon and Los Angeles.  Although Claypool may represent a big name draw to those of us who are fans of his work, in all reality, he doesn’t draw shit for weight in the industry as a film director.  Electric Apricot was a low budget independent film project without any real distribution.  Seeing its potential, the folks at National Lampoon acquired rights to the film, in turn, making it the first “out of house” feature ever for the production company.  Electric Apricot subsequently began it’s nation wide release on November 9, 2007 with a distribution that, although improved, roamed slowly over the following months, just a few big cities at a time.  By the time that I finally saw the Seattle showing in March of this year, Claypool was already selling pre-release limited edition DVD’s while on tour with his latest self-titled project.  In the middle of last month, Quest for Festeroo became available for purchase through Claypool’s website and is now finally available elsewhere for purchase and/or rent with some new and solid DVD extras.

I truly did enjoy the film from the first time that I saw it, however, after re-watching it I have found that it’s much better than I had even previously recognized.  The Seattle Viewing took place at the Central Cinema, which is a really nice venue that serves pizza and beer to little booths while you watch the film.  They played old school black and white Flip the Frog cartoons before the film and a mental-hygiene style short documentary about a pseudo-political college girl who smoked weed and dosed up with her friends at 60′s dinner parties.  Like I said, I really enjoyed the film, but I think that my expectations, coupled with the fact that I was sitting behind an obnoxiously drunk group of pharmy, gutter punk wingnuts reminiscent of a dirty Camden, NJ Phish lot, may have detracted a bit from my original experience with the material.  On follow up viewings of the DVD, the material seems to pop out at me more and more.  This can not only be attributed to an “adjusted” mental state, but also to the subtle yet intelligent dialogue as well as with the production methods and approach behind the film making itself.  Obvious parallels have been drawn between Claypool’s project and the original legendary rock band parody This is Spinal Tap, however, as Les addresses himself on the DVD extras, Electric Apricot is much less “overt“.  The content works more along the lines of Ricky Gervais projects like the BBC version of The Office.  Claypool also explains that he has based a career on music that “doesn’t grab you on the first listen” and that the film was intended to be more “layered” in a way that would provide the viewer an opportunity to notice more and more on each viewing.  Although the term “cult hit” has been maliciously raped to the point where it’s almost devoid of any substantial meaning, such layering and subtleties have been important ingredients in the staying power and re-watchability of now classic films like Boogie Nights and The Big Lebowski.  Another key element utilized by all three films is their attention to character development.

In an interview on Current.com, Claypool expresses that music in the Jam world is more about “how you approach the music” than the actual music being made.  He goes on to claim that the process of making the film itself was “a lot like jamming“.  The musician turned filmmaker made a conscious effort to tailor the project to his limited budget, which was no doubt comparable to that of music videos that he had directed in the past.  He settled on the affordable yet flexible style of shooting the movie as a student documentary.  Then, after employing long time friends with musical talent to round off the four piece Jam Band, he wrote a loose script outlining the basic traits of each character and important directions that the film should take.  Beyond this light treatment, the actors had to do lot of tinkering and adlibbing with their characters as well as co-write the music.  From 2004-2005, the band, performing as Electric Apricot, played a handful of actual live gigs and stayed in character quite a bit.  Over time and through such experimentation, each of the main characters really began to take form.  For the most part, it is clear as a viewer that the actors “know” their characters and enjoy playing them.  This is especially apparent in my favorite of the DVD special features where they do an entire interview with High Times Magazine as Electric Apricot and never once break character.  Les’ film direction in front of the camera as an actor/bandmember is done with a light touch, primarily focusing on wrangling the other actors back in when necessary to ensure that the storyline follows the intended path.  There, of course, is often a point “A” and a point “B” that must be reached, but the actors are able to bounce easily off of one another and their often spaciness and wandering attitudes are just more factors that play well into the concept of a stereotypical jam band.  It has been said that the approach for the film was to roll the camera as much as possible and to later search through all of the material for the “nuggets“.

The main plot-line revolves around the four-piece jam band recording their first album with hopes and dreams of reaching a spot on the lineup for the fictional Festeroo rock festival.  Claypool plays drummer Lapland “Lapdog” Miclovich who fancies himself as more of a technical geek.  He is a music nerd and reads a lot of Popular Mechanics.  Bryan Kehoe, a highschool friend of Claypool and fellow member of The Flying Frog Brigade, plays the Apricot’s guitarist, Steve “Gordo” Gordon.  He is the long haired wastoid, heavy stoner type that’s obsessed with the guitar work of Jimi Hendrix and Jerry Garcia.  Bass Player, Steve “Aiwass” Trouzdale, is played by Adam Gates (Highball With The Devil) and is the type of musician that thinks of themselves as a great intellectual and artist.  He’s politically minded and is “changing the world” through the bumper stickers on the back of his van.  The super spiritual meditating earth concious keyboardist, Herschel Tambor Brilstein, is played by Jonathan Korty.  In his jeweled tibetan baseball cap, he often lectures about the powers of yoga and healing but is always the first to snap when things don’t work out.  Matt Stone (South Park) and Seth Green (Robot Chicken), both of whom had Claypool write and perform the theme songs for their animated programs, play a pair of tapers while Dian Bachar (Orgasmo/Cannibal the Musical) plays a cheesy young audio tech trying to weasel his way up in the business and Arj Barker (Flight of the Conchords) is their travelling super fan with his own patented dance move.  They may be exaggerated at times, but these are the type of stereotypical personalities that I have repeatedly come in contact with through my years on Phish tour, at festivals, and by attending a liberal arts college, etc.  I knew people who actually did blow glass dildos and sold them on lot to supplement their income and I even know someone who punched a kid for talking shit about Jerry Garcia.  For me, as a viewer, one of the more engaging aspects of the movie was recognizing these characters from real life and realizing that they had never been effectively portrayed on screen before.

The first questions that I seem to hear when people find out about the film relate to if it attacks the jam band scene maliciously, and I personally don’t believe that it does.  If you want to see an offensive representation of tour kids and jam band music, by all means rent the 1999 straight to video cinematic catastrophe Around the Fire.  It stars former Tiger Beat cover boy Devon Sawa and the alchoholic nip-slip disaster known as Tara Reid and is a completely misguided atrocity.  Quest for Festeroo was made from a much more educated perspective on the scene and, although most people who know of him primarily through his work with Primus wouldn’t think “Jam Band” when they hear the name Les Claypool, he knows his shit and actually does hold some street-cred when it comes to the genre.  He has lived in the bay area his entire life and carries on the Grateful Dead tradition of performing a New Years Eve show in San Francisco every year, whether it is with Primus or one of his many other projects.  In 1994, Claypool sat in on the Phish classic YEM when his band Sausage opened up for them at the Laguna Seca Daze Festival in Monterey, CA and again with the band for an encore at a ’96 gig in Vegas.  Since then he’s formed such supergroups as Oysterhead (featuring Trey Anastasio and Stewart Copeland) and Col. Les Claypool’s Bucket of Bernie Brains (feat. Bernie Worrell, Buckethead, & Brain) and has played numerous Jam related festivals.  Jason McHugh, who produced and acted in the film as the band’s manager “Smiling Don“, grew up around the scene attending Dead shows himself.  Cameos from the likes of Mike Gordon (PHISH), Bob Weir (Grateful Dead/Ratdog), and Warren Haynes (Govt. Mule / Allman Bros.) help to further validate the mockumentary and it’s credibility in the jamband universe.

The sharp and hilarious references are what really carry any parody or spoof film such as this and keep them interesting, despite the often less direct approach and slow tempo.  Electric Apricot does not disappoint and is consistently spot on and accurate with their mentions throughout the film.  The guitarist “Gordo” claims to have the “Jerry recipe” as he holds a guitar with noticible resemblances to Garcia’s Doug Irwin Tiger guitar and the group even has a song that has clear elements of Not Fade Away.  Aiwass has his huge musical epiphany to become a bass player at a Phish show during one of the glowstick wars which, if memory serves me correct, used to occur every show during the 2nd song of the 2nd set.  The fictional band addresses and refutes the obvious similarities between their logo and that of the Dead’s Steal Your Face by explaining that the Apricot’s logo has an 11 pt lightening bolt as opposed to 13 pts.  What they don’t mention about the logo is the other stolen imagery such as the Allman Bros.‘ peach or the foot from the Europe ’72 album.  The first reference that really caught my attention was when they introduced a private investor/fan that was funding all of their recording and musically related expenses.  I leaned over to my girlfriend and explained that he was for them like Owsley was for the Dead right before the character “Gordo“ reiterates my statement on screen.  References like these may be too obscure for the mainstream audiences but, for the nerds who know shit like the fact that Shoreline Ampitheatre was constructed with an aerial view of a Steal Your Face logo, it is fairly satisfying to try ‘n’ catch ‘em all like Pokemon.  There are comments relating to Rainbow Gatherings and it’s expensive yuppy counterpart, Burningman, but others refer to much more recognizable connections in music and film.  There is mention of the old rumor that Pearl Jam was named after ”cum“, allusion to Caddy Shack when Claypool does his Chevy Chase “Nananananana…” impression during a golf sequence, and a moment where Aiwass is “writing” a song that has clearly already been written by lazy eyed Thom Yorke & Radiohead.  Claypool even recruits his cousin to play a band counselor with group therapy sessions mocking Some Kind Of Monster and Metallica, a band that Claypool unsuccessfully auditioned for in the ’80s.

The production struggles of the movie actually mirrored those of the bands own quest at times.  When Electric Apricot finally performs for their spot on the ”remnant stage” at Festeroo, the crowd is noticeably somewhat sparse. They were originally booked to play and film their performance to a larger crowd at the Shakedown Festival in the Portland area, but that didn’t work out.  Shakedown was marketed as the West Coast equivilent to multi-day festivals like Bonnaroo that were filled with incredibly large and diverse lineups.  The people behind Shakedown Fest were forced to move locations to another spot in Oregon yet, despite obvious complications, more bands were booked and more days continued to be added to the festival.  When there were complications and shit hit the fan, it happened way too late.  People were already in line with tickets in hand when the festival was cancelled.  These were people that had travelled from all over country, many of which had dumped a shit ton of cash on plane tickets, hotel accomodations, and other expenses.  The acts themselves were not even informed that there was no way to pay them.  Shakedown became one of the biggest promotional, financial, and legal festival disasters since the shit covered, grunge-enthusiast frat boys went pyromaniac at one of those watered down 90′s versions of Woodstock.  Right after the drama went down, I co-interviewed one of the main big shots associated with Shakedown on air for a pirate radio show over a speaker phone.  We were pretty faded and taking swigs off disgusting, yet potent,  homemade wine as I threw zingers at him like, “Are you honestly saying that there was no way for you to reasonably foresee the lack of funding until mere hours before the gates were scheduled to open?  What about all of the people that travelled across the country and spent all of that money?“  I would then pull the receiver away and cover it to block our drunken laughter. Incredibly serious and methodical answers would reflect back at us.  “I am not at liberty to discuss that information for legal reasons…blah…blah…“  What I could not know at the time was that the cancelled festival also left Claypool’s film in the making without an ending while.  Actors and crew had real jobs and lives to get back to.  Pulling last minute strings, Les was able to book a spot on the Earthdance Festival taking place in Laytonville, CA on Wavy Gravy’s Hog Farm.  The legendary Merry Prankster/Ice-Cream flavor even makes an appearance wearing his clown nose and sounding like Redd Foxx smashed on Jagermeister.  The live performance was filmed at Earth Dance along with festival footage that was filmed and cut between there and the High Sierra Music Fest.  Candid interviews were filmed of concert goers with forearms full of various multi-colored festival wristbands who speak of the magic and wonder for such gatherings.  Our writer Memes, who was at the Electric Apricot show at Earth Dance, verifies that the enthusiastic twirling hippy footage was authentic and that the crowd seemed completely oblivious to the parody involved.  There is a midnight clip where the actors are filmed in the Techno orb tent of Earth Dance’s camping area.  I could only imagine grilling on acid and doing keybumps of Molly by glow stick wielding candy ravers and having Les Claypool enter with a camera crew wearing a bad wig.  With their spontaneity and resourcefulness, the crew was more than capable of piecing together a sufficient ending and pulling their project out of an impending tail-spin.  Such positive statements can not be said for the promoters of the Shakedown Festival.

Although it has already made rounds through select theaters and is now available on DVD, Les Claypool continues to work at promoting his debut feature film.  Claypool hosted a showing of Electric Apricot: Quest For Festeroo as recently as June 13th. The viewing took place at this years Bonnaroo Music Festival and had a follow up Q & A.  Les performed at the festival back in 2006 when the movie was originally beginning it’s slow screening process and there was talk of it being viewed at Bonnaroo back then.   Whether it was shown that year or not, I can’t say, because I was not there that year.  Due to unpleasant situations involving the authorities, I did not attend the festival beyond 2005.  The point is that the film is still gaining ground 2 years after it hit its first film festival.  So is Quest For Festeroo the next big ”cult hit“?  I don’t know and it really doesn’t fucking matter.  What I do know is that this is not a movie that is going to have huge marketing campaigns and billboard advertising behind it.  Nobody is going to get an Electric Apricot promotionalThirsty-Two Ouncer at Circle-K or glass dildo toys in their Happy Meals.  It will have to rely almost solely on word of mouth and, for it too be successful through such methods, there has to be some level of substance behind it.  I believe that that substance is definitely there.  I read an interview where Claypool mentioned that there is a possible cartoon spin-off in the works.  It seemed a little far fetched so he may have been intentionally fucking with people.  Then again, with his connections to animators, Comedy Central and Adult Swim along with the success of programs such as Metalocalypse, the project actually seems rather feasible.  I’m sure the most important thing for Claypool at this point, is that he’s been able to prove that he deserves funding for future film work and that he has the ability to pull something of real quality off as an auteur.  If he decides to continue in the comedic realm, the folks at Nationl Lampoon will no doubt help him out by, at least, offering to work with him on an “In House” production.  He deserves it, if for no other reason than because he has single handedly helped resucitate a name whose last real sign of life came 25 yrs ago with the film Vacation.

-Dead C

A kind of Lot Dictionary, where all the words sound like they end in the letter “Y”

My friend Sleepy Matt and I were talking about the ridiculous amount of code words, nicknames, or special dialect that tours kids communicate with. I was telling him that I might be out of the lingo loop these days, but I was sure I could pull together a few words. Once I got started on this, it really didn’t have an end. A couple of my other friends also helped me out on this – Conbot and Genius (Dead C) – so I have to give credit where credit is due. With times always a changing, this is almost an implacable task. So, we decided to try and compile a list of words ending in the sound of “Y” that you will hear when you go to a super phat, heady, double terminated, enhydro, triple encrusted, ethereal show, brah.

And to further understand where these words are originating from I will explain what a “lot” is as well as a “kid”, why you can hear them here, and what the fuck this has to do with anything.

Over the last 40+ years, America has been inundated with prominent mainstream music. With the advent of the radio, television, and now the Internet, we have the ability to listen to all types of music. Some of these bands, while not always in the mainstream, have generated a loyal, and to some extents, cult following comprised of die hard fans. To appease the masses of fans, many of these bands have the ability to throw gigantic concerts or festivals (see below) that draw tens of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of fans.
These enterprising bands have parlayed this success into multimillion dollar empires, built upon the loyal following of fans, and others who see the very easy ability to turn their concert experience into a lucrative, enterprising adventure, by capitalizing on the obvious need these masses of people have, by selling every type of ware you could imagine. Essentially, these places function as miniature mobile cities and ecosystems, that require food water, clothing, drugs, and shelter, and of course music, to survive and sustain their experience from one venue to the next.

All the words listed below in this lot lingo dictionary end in “y”, “i.e.”, “I”, “ies”, “ys”, and “ey”, and originated in the parking lots at these concerts. The ones I list below are generally regarded as the main ones used on today’s lot, and do not take into account the words heard on lots in years past, such as in the 60’s, when no one really remembers them anymore, anyway.

The parking lots are the breeding ground of innovation and adaptation. Words were invented to keep them unknown from authority figures. They were made to characterize and standardize things that exist, in some respects, solely on the concert lots. They were made to gain a sense of place and a connection with each other. Some are taken from the ghettos and urban areas that are often near parking lots in major cities. Outsiders bring some in from other regions and dialects. Some are just abbreviations of the real words used to describe whatever it is they are describing. Some were made out of pure fun, and for comedic value. And some are just products of years of this repeated pattern and behavior of the lot. Many are used to describe drugs. All are used to describe commonplace things occurring at these concerts.
The list of lot vernacular is long and storied. This article only deals with one type of word, which I explained above. Be aware that there are hundreds if not thousands of other words heard uttered everyday on the lot that are solely products of the lot. Since the words listed below are generally the most common (possibly because they are easy to say and remember), and the fact that I think a lot of them are funny and sometimes completely preposterous, I decided to go with them.

So whenever you find yourself in the parking lot of a concert, you are actually in “the lot”. The lot is the epicenter of trade and the free market of evolving industry. It is an entrepreneurs dream, and the most popular place before and after the concert. A term used to describe people that frequent these types of places, and who also sell a commodity, can sometimes be referred to as kids, or tour kids. However, this can be taken in a derogatory sense, and some do not prefer to be called that. Unfortunately for you and fortunately for me, no one gets a say in this but me, and many of my references below refer to people as “kids”, if for nothing else than the fact it is easy to say and relate to. So tough shit. If you don’t like it, then rethink the fact that this is an article that is documenting and glamorizing words that are uniquely found in this place, and that at the end of the day, I just don’t care about your feelings.

Booby – you hear this everywhere. Referring to a woman breast, tit, or “boob”.
“Hey baby, let me touch your booby.”
Moving on.

Celly- Reference to the cell phone. This term has become mainstream as well, but there was a time when you could tell it was getting thrown in to the mix of shorter convenience words that are commonplace on the “lot”.
“let me borrow your celly, kid”

Chemmy- Typically referenced in regards to marijuana that is grown with chemicals, as opposed to organically. Often the result of herb grown hydroponically, since it’s not really organic if you aren’t using soil. You can usually tell when the smoke of the herb you are smoking has a chemical aftertaste, or it pops and cracks when it is lit on fire. Often produces side effects like headaches and beasters (which is a type of shitty, mass produced Canadian weed). Also can be used to describe most non-organic drugs, those made in a lab (or bathtub), that are created through the mixing of chemicals. Typically harder drugs and not classic hallucinogens like LSD. I am mainly referring to methamphetamines, as a prime example.
“I can tell you didn’t flush this before you cut it. This is hella chemmy, man. Everybody’s gonna know.”

Chockies- Oh man. I started laughing when I thought about this one. This is another word for chocolates, as in, mushroom chocolates. Usually uttered by drunken frat kids that think they discovered how to not make themselves look like total “custies” [see below]. It doesn’t work. If anything, this singles them out even more. It’s the same type of person that would say “newbie” to me. But, it’s people like this that keep my kids in Air Jordan’s. Lets just move on, shall we?
“Hey man, you got chockies, or what?” “um…yeah, no problem! 50 a piece.”

Chunky- Meaning thick, heavy, good. Can denote quality or imply girth. Typically associated with blown glass artwork and pieces, such as glass pipes. Also associated with heady crystals, and crystal wraps. Specifically pertaining to the size of crystal, or the thickness of the glass. “Sick wrap. I like the chunky crystals” or “these are some chunky pieces you got. I like the dichro, yo”

Clie or cly – clientele. – A less popular reference for a customer of your various goods and sundries. See custie above.
“I got my clie right over there waiting for you to give me the digi, so we can wrap this shit up.”

Coolie- a cigarette dipped, or covered in cocaine. It is either placed on the tip of the cigarette, or “glued” to the length of it. Emits a foul odor. One step closer to crack, and smells like it too.

Custie- A “customer” in the lot. Usually referring to somebody that will pay the higher price for your wares. Someone that does not know the people to get the good deals or buy in any sort of bulk purchase. These people pay the market price, and don’t get discounts for buying in bulk. The going rate is what you tell them. Often they are subject to fake goods, or severely slacked products or services. They are susceptible to lies and deceit, and quite often, don’t care and expect it. This also refers to a young tour go-er, or someone thought to be completely out of the loop. This is often someone who is not considered to be “cool” or “heady”- as the case may be. This is generally a derogatory word, used in the same fashion.
Example: “There are so many custies at this festival, were going to be able to get really fucked up in Vegas.”

Digi- Digital Scale. A scale used for weighing mail or gems that includes an accurate digital readout. A must have for those who insist on getting the bottom line right to the penny. Or just making sure that bag of weed is actually 3.5.

Dippies- (east coast sherm sticks)- also see “sherm”. This refers to cigarettes that are dipped into liquid PCP (some call it embalming fluid as well, but that is not what it actually is). It also comes in rock form. It is most often ingested by way of smoke, in any event. In recent years it actually has become embalming fluid and formaldehyde. Think about the sharks you can buy that are preserved in jars. That’s formaldehyde and you might be smoking it. I saw it happen in Miami.

Apparently, the main market is controlled and manufactured mainly by L.A. street gangs. However, I’ve really only heard this referred to on the East Coast. But if they do control it, that explains the desire to outsource it with cheaper alternatives, such as formaldehyde. But don’t worry, you can find drugs anywhere.
“gimmie dat sherm, bitch”

Doobie – actually, you probably wont here this one very much. The last time I heard this, I was actually at a Doobie Brothers concert.
“Hey man, you wanna spark this doobie with me?”

Dready- Any person that has their hair in dreadlocks, especially if those dreadlocks are of great prominence, is called a dready.
“look honey, dreadies.”

Festie- Festival. This is the slang term for a large concert, typically comprised of many bands and people in the tens of thousands that camp on site for an average of 2 days and 3 nights. Some examples would be Woodstock, Bonnaroo, and Burning man. They are often more than music, and offer an array of vendors, as well as comedy shows, general performances, and often carnival rides. Some big time bands have thrown festivals, such as Phish. Many people have resorted to following around festivals to make money and have a good time after their band of choice disbanded. Such as Phish, Grateful Dead, etcetera.
“I’m going on festie tour this summer, brah. I’m gonna bank.”

Foily- Smoking coke or meth off of foil. Produces a terrible smell. Highly illegal, and not recommended. Toxic to you and everyone around you. A surefire felony.
“I dunno. I just realized I was smoking foily’s for 3 days and decided it was time to probably get some food”

Forty- while this is not strictly a lot term, it can be heard from time to time. As most of you know, this is in reference to a forty-ounce beverage. Usually it is Colt 45, Old English, or some other malt beverage. Heard more often in the Northeast.
“I just need a couple forty’s to make it through the show and I’ll be straight”

Groupie- These are slutty bitches that try to get backstage after the show and fuck band members. Usually they are wicked hot, and you might think they were porn stars. In reality they are not far off. They could have quite possibly been in porn videos, if only on the Internet. They are typically ruthless, and will do whatever it takes to get backstage. The people that benefit most from this sort of persistence are the security guards that get sympathy blowjobs for giving them access to the band members.
“My girlfriend is in there!” roady replies, “A lot of peoples girlfriends are in there, buddy”

Heady – perhaps the most crucial and important lot term of all time. Pay attention kids. Your measure of success is measured in headiness. Being heady is the equivalent to being cool. If you are heady you are cool. If you are heady you might be a person, or you might be a nugget (of weed, bitch!). If you are inanimate and referred to as heady, that means you are of the highest quality. Being heady also is a measurement of years put in on the lot, and a level of consciousness as deemed by a group of your peers. More likely it’s the person best dressed (by lot standards, of course). Skate shoes, a hoody, a crystal wrap, a flat-billed new era cap, shades, and some LRG gear (preferably Rastafarian colored), coupled with some roomy pants- should do just fine (Hidden pockets, an extra bonus of headiness – ed). Please don’t forget to have the longest dreadlocks, or some sort of hair nappification. Ideally, being heady is an estuary of pimp. Sort of like human evolution from chimps’….sorta.
“That cat is so heady, brah” “That is a heady wrap, man” “ that show was soooo heady”

Hippie- I almost forgot this word. Trying to really give a definition of this word is futile. What it once was, it is not anymore. What it is, is not necessarily what it could be. That being said, this is the general feeling, or perception of what it is on the lot. Which is a long hair, typically environmentally based, dirty hippie. If they are women they don’t shave their legs. If they are man, they don’t shave their face. They often smell like patchouli and other forms of oil and incense. They have a romantic view of what life is or could be. Contrarily, they are also fed up with big business and government, and are suddenly caught in a giant hypocrisy, which is their life. Life is beautiful, but actually it really isn’t. These people often have little or no money, and survive by spanging (panhandling), charity, and karma. They often group together to hide and lessen these obvious deficiencies. Can be found banging the hand drums, such as djimbes. Many use drugs and marijuana as a means of income, and more often as a crutch. Often without possessions, employing the minimalist lifestyle, they try to sell worthless crap, and barter as a means of life. Obvious complications arise when they try to employ these tactics in modern society, and are often kicked out and ostracized out of communities, and forced to live in the woods. They are generally passive, and do not have the clout they once had on the lot, heeding to a rougher and tougher movement, that is the lot today. Sometimes seen wearing no clothes, or minimal amounts. Often seen without shoes, and internationally refused service everywhere. However, they are generally nice people and well liked, and can be a primary participant, and therefore the lifeblood, of things like Rainbow Gatherings.

You are more likely to find people these days that call themselves Pseudo Hippies, or basically people that pick and choose the ideals they like about hippies (such as dress, drugs, belief, and attitude), and then go to festivals and Dave Matthews Band concerts (Phish if they could, usually not Phil or GD variations). They whip out their patchwork dresses and pants for the show, and then don the Prada clothing and stiletto heals at night when in whore mode. The type of person you now see at the Sweetwater brewing company tours in Atlanta. Yeah, I said it.

Hoody- a staple clothing for followers. Without a hoody you risk being labeled a square or “nark”. Many have a complex about the hoody and refuse to go anywhere without it. This includes wearing it under unusual circumstances such as in Atlanta during July.
“Check out this sick LRG hoody I just got, broseph.”

Hoopty- A hoo ride. A ghetto ride. A car that is flat out rough looking. Usually consists of mismatched parts, and varying paint schemes. Typically much older like late 70’s to early 90’s vehicles. Can often be spotted by the loud noises they make, the squealing of the brakes, the tape over the trunk, the trash bag as the back window, and completely functioning without the help of electronics. Windows, A/C, and heat are typically broken.
“Look at that god damned hoopty. I am not riding in that to California”

Hotie (pron. Hoe-Tee)- a hotel. This is what people traveling with bands often refer to hotels as. i.e. “yo brah, lets score a hotie after the show” This is an old and popular term, and can often be heard muttered by all “kids” on the lot. As near as I can tell, this is a hotel and nothing more.
“I can’t wait to get a phat hotie tonight after the show and go to church in the morning.”

Icky- this is usually heard in conjunction with another word- sticky. Usually sticky is a precursor to icky. For more information, see “sticky” below.

Irie- A term that references a state of being, as in high. When you smoke marijuana, you become “irie”. A positive term. Also used to describe good ideas, and “heady” places, or, positive outlooks or thoughts. Irie is similar to being heady.
“I smoked those diesel wide bubbles last night and got totally irie.”

Janky- Kind of crappy or shitty. It’s fucking janky, is what it is. Possibly wobbly or not made well. Prone to breakage or falling apart. Can be reference to a person or thing.
“If we don’t throw out this janky hand scale and get a digi, I’m gonna be pissed”

Jerry- This term is kinda like heady, I suppose. You will see things for sale on the lot the employ this word, such as “jerry rolls”, which is a type of deep fried giant egg roll, or “Jerry Berry” which is a strain of marijuana. It is a name used to cleverly imply quality, and it is a fantastic branding device. Considering Jerry Garcia is the originator (or at least it originated from his name), it has a longstanding meaning of pride, nostalgia and quality in the community. It is a great advertising technique. It can be compared to the branding of Michael Jordan for Nike

Junkie- Someone who is on the “junk” or “dope” or “boy” or really just heroin. Could also be a reference to someone who does a lot of drugs, of varying types even. Typically involves needles.
However, this word has gone through a transformation. You can get junked out on just about any drugs, and there are different types of dope you could be addicted to as well. Think, “pill junkies” or “heroin junkies”, which would be two types. Or you could be a coke junkie, or maybe you just eat ecstasy all the time like a lush and are junked out on that. The roller junkies.
“All you ever see here in Camden is junkies”

Larfy- reference to plant matter that is not dense, but rather, airy and wispy. Either that or it has many strands of leaves, that can be picked off individually, which is a true test of its “larfyness”. Often associated with Marijuana buds.
“This eighth is so larfy, it looks like a quarter. Guess we better split it in half before we sell it!”

Molly- code word for a mind altering substance that makes you want to fuck everything and lie to yourself and anyone within earshot of you for a few hours about everything being perfect and nice. It’s not- so shut the fuck up already. Often heard in succession with other words.
“Molly, rolls, doses, headdies, chocolates, goo balls, vaginas.”

Mountie- This is a term for the policeman or hired security guard that are mounted on horseback, that can be seen at concerts and festival. Notable locations that I have seen them at for myself are Bonnaroo, Alpine Valley Wisconsin, and in the Canadian hinterland, where they ride on Yaks instead of horseback. Sometimes they are simply hired for the crowd control and to keep kids safe from themselves, and have no business or desire to arrest you. Often they are quite nice, and I’m not sure they even carry guns. I seem to remember them wearing short-sleeved polo shirts. I always had good experiences when I encountered them. USUALLY not a typical (or the same thing as a) “cop”. However, they are often used as lookouts at a festival to inform the real policeman of illegal or “sketchy” activity. Often seen on the perimeters of said events.
“Hey kid, they got Mounties everywhere. Keep it down”

Mushies- Another reference to mushrooms. When buyers and sellers get tired, or they are working at a feverish pace, this is the terminology that typically comes out. Can refer to the solid “raw” form, or those incased in a variety of substances like chocolate and caramel.
“Mushies, doses, headies…”

Nappy- reference to matted hair. If you have dreadlocks, you got some nappy hair. Or, if you are Don Imus, you are referring to nappy headed ho’s, which could be black people, their hair, corn rolls, or god knows what. Or maybe it’s just time for you to take a nap and you are getting “nappy”.
“they’re all a bunch of nappy headed ho’s”

Newbie- Now this one I had never heard used in this context before. When I was selling Newcastle on New Years Eve, a bunch of people asked me if I had “newbies”. Personally I think this is a stupid shit abbreviation and I would appreciate it if I never heard it again. It was generally people that seemed younger than me so I don’t know what this started from other than the fact there are some lazy fucked up people that can’t pronounce the word castle.
“Yo, bro, give me a newbie” reply, “I’m not your bro, brah.”

It is also used as a term for someone that has never experienced certain things before; someone new to the game, a newbie.

Osky/Osky Wosky- An ounce. Refers to weight. In the seventies this would be known as a “lid”. Usually pertains to weight of drugs or marijuana. Can be heard in other places than the lot. “Lemmie get one of dem osky woskies, playa.”

Oxy’s/ OC’s/ocies- Oxycontin. This is a strongly narcotic pharmaceutical opiate, often called “hillbilly heroin”. It is highly addictive and is derived from a chemical that is extracted and or synthesized from the poppy plant. Notable drugs that occur from this plant are heroin and opium. Oxycontin are pills used to treat severe pain and they are quite expensive, going for 50 cents a milligram at its lowest street market value.

Pharmies- This refers to any sort of drug that is “pharmaceutical”. Any prescription drug whether it is made here or in Mexico.

Pharmy army- A whole shit load of varying pharmaceuticals. When such a large amount is brought together, it can form a driving force of physical destruction, or an army if you will. Usually in reference to a dealer with lots of product. As in, “I got a Pharmy Army here kids.”

Phatty- This is similar to heady, but the difference is it refers to objects and not people almost all the time. (it’s almost like using y as a vowel, as in, never really). Synonyms would be sick, cool, dope, awesome, killer, badass, kick ass, wicked, and wicked bad and large. This word can also be a measure of size. It describes the object, as in “large”. i.e.- “ that is one phatty joint” (referring to size). or – “that was a phatty wrap, bro.” (referring to an objective taste).

Phunky- this is a reference to something that is a good groove. When spelled with a “P”, and you refer to something as phunky, it generally a compliment. Such as “that was a phunky groove”. How was the lot? “It was pretty phunky, man. A good time”.
Often this word can have the opposite meaning as well, meaning “no good”, or “weird”. Usually it is spelled as “funky”, when this is the case. Many words are respelled with a “ph” replacing the “f” when down in the “lot”. This is a trait of the lot, and comes with the territory.

Pokey- The jail, or police. An old school reference to the clink, this term has achieved resurgence in popularity. Once solely used to describe the jail itself, it is now often heard as a reference to the police, 6 up, or the fuzz.
“Clear out, here come the pokey!”

Poney- Pronounced [ po – nay ], is a term for a certain type of ponytail. This is a very special feat. It is also called the “directors cut”. It is achieved when one has a ponytail that is almost long enough to include their bangs. Often, the bangs are left hanging down on the sides of their face. It is a symbol of stature and pride. One retains the “one-up” mentality on everyone when used properly. When not used properly, attempting the poney can be a career ending disaster. Use with caution for it is of the highest power.

Pony- as in “Pony up Bitch!”. This is a reference to collecting money or goods, which are owed. If someone owes you money, and they have not paid you, this can be an appropriate term to use. Collections.

Pressies – similar to molly but in pressed form with extra vitamins added in. This is a term, like so many others, that will instigate laughter or anger when audible.
“Yo kid, I got your pressies right here!”

Roadie- This term applies to a person who carries equipment for a band. They are employees that tour with the band on the “road”. Hence, the name roadie. They are the workhorses of the band that tune the guitars and set up equipment. Always make friends with the roadies. You know they have connections and it is usually easier to meet them, than said band.
But, this can also refer to a road soda. Which is an alcoholic drink that you get at a bar or private club, which you could not finish while you were there. Instead of throwing it out, they allow you to take it with you, thus creating the roadie.

Rollies- A rolled cigarette. Many people are poor. Hand rolled cigarettes are cheap.
“Can I bum a smoke” “I got rollies.” Pause “um, no thanks”

Sammies- This is a Samuel Smith beer. a.k.a. Sam Smith, or Sammy Smith, or Sammy. This is a dark, heavy, premium beer. It is a popular choice among many. Generally sold in 18.7-ounce “Victorian Pint” bottles for 5 dollars, going rate. All Samuel Smith beers are vegan products, registered with The Vegan Society. The Old Brewery at Tadcaster was founded in 1758 and is Yorkshire’s oldest brewery. Samuel Smith is one of the few remaining independent breweries in England, and further is the last to utilize the classic Yorkshire Square system of fermentation solely in stone squares.

The rich Samuel Smith strain of yeast at The Old Brewery dates from the early 1900s. Hops are hand-weighed by the master hop blender, and the brewing water is drawn from a well sunk over 200 years ago.

First introduced to the U.S. market in 1978 by Merchant du Vin, Samuel Smith beers quickly became the benchmark ales for the emerging craft beer movement. To this day, they remain among the most awarded.

Scaley- Reference to good cocaine. The “fishscale”. Also see Ghostface’s new album. If something is scaley, it has a scale like texture on the outside. Can often smell like ether. Usually of high quality, or at least implying high quality.
“Fishscale! Fishscale! I got your scaley right here!”

Scrilly- scrilla, scrill. This is money. When you got money, you got scrilla. “Gotta make dat scrilla, you know.” The object of the game is to have the most scrilla by the end of it.
“got dat scrilly homie?”

sexy- usually reference to weed. Specifically a reference to a certain type of weed called beasters. If they are “sexy” beasters, they look good enough to pass as something better than what they are. What dealers look for to sell at an inflated market price. If they are sexy they typically are very crystally (with THC crystals), are of a pleasant green color, and possibly smell sweet- as opposed to smelling like hay.

Shorty sho-tay – We might be getting off track with this one. Certainly heard in ATL, when “in da cut”. It is a reference to an attractive woman. Typically one with bloated or inflated feature(s), such as ass and titties.
“What up sho – tay, get yo fine bitch ass over here.”

See also “Shortys” or “shorts”, which is the end of a cigarette, usually consisting of a couple drags. “Let me get shortys on that butt”

Shroomy- Either a reference to the hallucinogen mushrooms, or a person’s nickname. Possibly used to describe the state of being after ingestion of said hallucinogen.

Shwilly/Swilly- Regardless, it is usually pronounced “shwilly”. If someone is Shwilly, they are drunk. Usually they are wasted drunk. Sometimes it can be used to describe what is about to happen, as in “I’m gettin’ shwilly”, because they are not quite there yet. If you are getting Shwilly, you plan on being belligerent, you could possibly turn into a wook, if you keep it up. Often used as a precursor to a nick name. As in “Shwilly Billy” or “Getting Shwilly in Philly”.

Special thanks to Optahedron for reminding me about this word. This is in some ways an iconic slang, and it has done this dictionary justice by being included. Here is his example, possibly taken from real life experiences. ” I just fucked Swilly Tanya in the Honey Bucket”.

Sketchy/Shady – These two words are synonymous with each other. They are used to describe seedy, uncomfortable, – and potentially dangerous- situations, places, people, and things. You can use these words anytime your sixth sense pops up. Is that deal of yours starting to go bad? Sounds Shady to me! Who is that questionable character you hang out with who always wears the backpack? He looks pretty sketchy. How much does that bag weigh? I’ve never seen green cocaine before. Looks pretty sketch.

Ski’s- If you got ski’s, you have Oxycontin. Some say this is a reference to snorting cocaine. Usually if you hear “you got my ski’s”, they are referring to their need of Oxycontin. To go skiing, is typically more of a reference to snorting cocaine. So ski’s is more of a noun and refers to said pill. Skiing is a verb and refers to said powder.

Skunky- a reference to weed that smells like a skunk. This is not an unpleasant smell. It is usually overpowering and smells florally skunky. Pungent. A treat for the olfactory senses. Denotes a high quality.

Splitty- a split windowed VW bus. These are so epic in the culture and history of concert attendees. Made popular by sheer economics, they are now an icon of cool and respectability. To have one is a measure of headieness as well. As in, instant headieness, or instant “you’re getting called out for being a Rasta impasta”. Even though VW is far from Rasta. Far, far from it.
“I just got this 56 window splitty. Epic, brah”

Stealie- An abbreviated term for the steal your face logo, invented by the Grateful Dead. It is one of their most, if not the most, iconic symbol that they have. It is featured on flags, albums, chests and backs. It is undeniably cool, and consists of a unique lightening bolt resting inside an oval. This is on the forehead of a skull. These two symbols combined create Captai…no, no, no. They create the steal your face symbol. And it kicks ass.

Sticky- a reference to sticky weed. Often paired with other words like “the sticky- icky”. If weed is sticky, it typically smells pungent, and has a high THC content. This high content of THC enables it to be sticky. And by sticky, I mean it will stick to your fingers, or upside down on your ceiling.

Stoney- A perpetual stoner, or a place of being. As in, “he’s been stoney all his life”. Someone who is high on pot. Not necessarily to a certain degree, but a general term for the look someone has while high.

Suby- a Subaru vehicle. Usually the Subaru outback, which is an all wheel drive car, is used to usher around wookies. Omnipresent at concerts, festivals, as well as the northeast and the northwest, these vehicles are a staple of the traveling concertgoer. They present to the audience a lower frill car, capable of braving all weather conditions, while coming off as less pretentious to the judging public. The mailman of vehicles. Keep in mind this association does not go unnoticed by Johnny law, and you may pay a price for style (as in jail time).

Taddy-. A popular beer brand on the lot, it is generally sold in 18.7-ounce “Victorian Pint” bottles, and retails for 5 bucks a pop on the lot. Porter was the first commercially brewed beer. It was named for the train porters who were its original servers and consumers. Samuel Smith’s Old Brewery, Yorkshire’s oldest, reintroduced authentic porter to the British beer scene in 1979 after an absence of more than 50 years. All Samuel Smith beers are vegan products, registered with The Vegan Society.
Very dark, fairly full in body and packed with flavor. Intense, dry tangy character of roasted barley.
“Newcastle, Sweetwater, Taddy porters…”

Tempy- This refers to a temporary person that travels with a band. Someone who gets all “headdied” out and leaves after 3 shows. Reasons being, lack of commitment, and a desire to temporarily blow their mind as opposed to all of us who sweated it out for months and years and are now brain-dead.
“They aren’t gonna last. What a tempy.”

Tittie- I put in booby, so, it wouldn’t have felt right otherwise.
Still, moving on.

Trippy- This term is not new. It is also something that is quite mainstream in the typical human bank of words. Refers to a “far out”, amazing, or possibly inexplicable, or unexplainable experience. Can also be directly associated with any sort of unnatural or supernatural experience or reference to colors. Colors associated with this word are often bright and blended. Gained popularity through the Band The Grateful Dead and the psychedelic movement that was the 60’s- which was realized in the 70’s- with tie-dyed shirts and copious amounts of LSD. Roots are nestled in psychedelic drugs such as LSD, Mushrooms, DMT, AMT, peyote/mescaline and all derivatives in between.

Trusty- Another epic term, brah. An abbreviation of trustifarian, or trust fund baby. Someone who is going to concerts and shows at the expense of their fathers’ income. A kid who is probably generally more naive (at first at least), and can afford whatever they want. Usually not very grizzled, and often very clean. Quite frankly, traveling with a band on tour will leave you hella disheveled. So if someone looks fresh and crisp by the last show, and you know that you have seen them during the whole run, chances are you just spotted a trusty. Congratulations. Now go call your mother.
“Look at that trusty over there. I’m gonna try to hop in her ride for the rest of tour”

Tweaky- usually reference to drugs that are stomped on, or cut with a highly stimulating substance. They make your heart race, and paranoid illusions real. They are a lower quality, typically. Usually refers to powdered substances.
“That is some tweaky shit…whoa

Vaginey/ Vaggy- Something that is not the greatest. Lower quality to lowest quality, sometimes used as an insult. Spawned from the word vagina, which ironically, is the opposite of vaggy, because vaginas are great, as long as they aren’t “real sweaty clams” as my friend Chattanooga John used to say.
“keep this vaggy shit, it is in one word – disgusting”

Wookie- This was a character in the star wars movies. It was a large hairy beast, incapable of pronouncing vowels, and spoke in a stentorian voice of foreign child-like, monster sounds. A creature of great strength, and just kind of nuts. Well, the wookie you find on the “lot”, is very similar. Anyone can be a wookie. If you get fucked up enough, forget where you are, and start talking gibberish, you are getting close. Usually a wookie is accompanied by a pile of vomit, rolled back eyes, a foul stench, as well as inhibitors such as beer and drugs. Their appearance is disheveled, outrageous, and sometimes angry. Often times, you have no idea what they are saying, and you could walk away without them noticing, even in the middle of face-to-face conversation. They are the grungy side of heady – like a Siamese twin who got shortchanged on the organs. A debacle; possibly funny, possibly a disgrace. Sometimes associated with dreadlocks, as in, “there is vomit in your dreadlocks, wook”.

Wotie- Similar to shorty. In fact, just go look at that definition.
“look at dat wotie over there”

Zanny’s- (xanax) Term for the drug xanax. Which is a benzodiazepam, an anti anxiety medication. It is used to treat anxiety or to come down from coke binges. It is addictive and can alter your state of mind over time. Can be dependant.

That’s all I got for now. Don’t forget that new words pop up every day, and you certainly have the ability to create them. I am by no means an expert in the field of “lot vernacular”, but if I forgot any, please mention them to me. Any word can be made into these types of words by just adding a y to the end of it. Realistically speaking, there are infinite words.
I was also thinking that there is a great deal of regional dialect, such as slang terms for local beers. There is no doubt in my mind that I have forgotten more than a few words. I mean, I haven’t lived everywhere, so I can’t possibly know all the “in” words. This dictionary could grow to be quite large, and I don’t know of any- online or abroad -that categorizes the words like we do on here. The fact is, this could be better. If you want to submit your own, or add a definition to another, feel free to do so.
Notice the lack of real invective words. I know the lot isn’t the nicest of places, which makes me wonder why they don’t have a quick and damning insult to throw out that ends in y or ie. So, tour kids of the world, time to think one up.
Don’t forget that this was strictly a collection of words from the “lot” that sound like they end in the letter “y”. Why, you ask? Because I’m writing this motherfucker – and your bitch ass aint.

Doctor J