Two things that I’ve lent our support to since day one of this site have been the show It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia and master mc, Kool Keith.  Now it looks like the two have teamed up to push help promote the novelty DICK TOWEL, which originally stemmed from an episode of the FX comedy program.  The video first aired on Dicktowel.com last night and now we’re doing our own little premier for you on the site, right here.

Click here to view the embedded video.

We’ve already posted to death about It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia and have even hosted a contest/giveaway for Dick Towels in the past.  For further information, go to DickTowel.com check out some of our past Keith Thornton and It’s Always Sunny posts :

The Days of Disco (interview with Charlie Day & Mary Elizabeth Ellis)

DICK TOWEL – From The TV to The Internet to That Ass

In Space No One Can Hear You Laugh: Boldy Going Nowhere

Master of the Game: Kool Keith & N8 Van Dyke in Seattle (Pt. 2)

If you’re a die hard fan of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, then you probably already know about the Dick Towel by now.  If you read our November 6th post about the novelty drying devices, then you also know that the Sunny crew actually manufactured the product and constructed an official site to sell and distribute them.  In that post we mentioned that the towel would have made a wonderful Christmas or Hannukah present, but followed it up by asking, “As far as Kwanza?…..TERRIBLE!  Where is all of the dark meat?!”

Well, it looks like the folks at Dick Towel are all ears when it comes to concerns as dire as those regarding racial sensitivity in the mock phallus industry.  Beyond just adding hats and T-Shirts to their line of Dick Towel related merchandise, we’d like to present you with their latest addition……

…………. “THE BLACK DICK TOWEL”!

Finally!  This should please a lot of people, except for this guy of course [poor bastard].

The really good news is, in celebration of their latest wang cloth, the people at Dicktowel.com have offered to provide us with a couple of FREE Dick Towels to give away.  This means that we will be picking 2 winners (one for each color).

HOW To Enter:

Step 1:

You don’t need to have a member, but you do need to be one…. of our Facebook fan page.  Just click “Become A Fan” on our Monster Fresh Facebook page by linking through HERE.

Step 2:

We wanted to keep this contest simple so that anyone could enter, so here’s the deal…. you just need to come up with a new term for the dong.  I know, I know… there are so many already, but that’s how this becomes a true “challenge”.  We’re not looking for terms that already exist like schlong, prick, wang, cock, penis, dick, one-eyed willie, skin flute, etc… We want something new.  Something original that we’ve never heard before.  Something that could actually catch on.  Feel free to use it in a sentence/context, as in a masturbatory term, etc. if you think it will add power to your entry.  Whatever’s cool with us.

Step 3:

Post your entry in the comment section of the Facebook discussion topic provided specifically for this contest and remember to tell us which color you are shooting for.
[Link to entry form HERE]

Entrants will be judged on creativity and, somewhat arbitrarily, based on the one that we just like the most.

That’s it, jerks.  It’s pretty simple and you can enter as many times as you’d like.  Contest will start today, January 15th, and run for one-week, ending on Friday, January 22nd at midnight.

This is a Dick Towel contest folks, so remember to show some SPUNK!

Back in our Oct. 2007 interview with with Charlie Day, I asked the It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia star/executive producer about marketing.  More specifically, I inquired about if there had been any show-related merchandising ideas that had been thrown around “Anything along the lines of ‘It’s Always Sunny’ in-soles or bondage gear?“  Now, it looks like the cleverly absurd merchandising possibilities for the show creators are finally beginning to hit their stride.

Last night’s episode of the FX program revolved around the concept of the gang trying to capitalize off of a merchandising convention that was coming to town.  Various product concepts were presented by the crew, including a shotgun that blasts liquor, but in the long run, the only successful idea that garnered any interest from investros was Charlie‘s “Kitten Mittens“.  In the real world, however, another one of these ideas has actually been put into production and can be purchased by you through a website specially created for that purpose.  That’s right, DICKTOWEL.com actually exists.

Watch the video:

Along with the sale price of $19.95, there is also a $6.95 charge for shipping and handling.

It’s a little steep, but I’m sure that this will make a nice gift for Christmas or Hanukkah, etc.  As far as Kwanza?…..TERRIBLE!  Where is all of the dark meat?!

To Purchase visit DICKTOWEL.COM now.

For those out there who want to double the bang for your wang, I found the following youtube video.  The instructor in this clip can be a little annoying  in some of his delivery, but he teaches you how to fold your towel into the shape of an origami penis.  This adds new dimensions to the entire concept, but be careful…  This may be the first time that anyone has folded a two-dicked towel into the shape of a huge 3-dimensional unit and there may be repercussions pertaining to paradoxes and the space-time continuum.