DICK TOWEL – From The TV to The Internet to That Ass


Back in our Oct. 2007 interview with with Charlie Day, I asked the It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia star/executive producer about marketing.  More specifically, I inquired about if there had been any show-related merchandising ideas that had been thrown around “Anything along the lines of ‘It’s Always Sunny’ in-soles or bondage gear?”  Now, it looks like the cleverly absurd merchandising possibilities for the show creators are finally beginning to hit their stride.

Last night’s episode of the FX program revolved around the concept of the gang trying to capitalize off of a merchandising convention that was coming to town.  Various product concepts were presented by the crew, including a shotgun that blasts liquor, but in the long run, the only successful idea that garnered any interest from investros was Charlie‘s “Kitten Mittens“.  In the real world, however, another one of these ideas has actually been put into production and can be purchased by you through a website specially created for that purpose.  That’s right, DICKTOWEL.com actually exists.

Watch the video:

Along with the sale price of $19.95, there is also a $6.95 charge for shipping and handling.

It’s a little steep, but I’m sure that this will make a nice gift for Christmas or Hanukkah, etc.  As far as Kwanza?…..TERRIBLE!  Where is all of the dark meat?!

To Purchase visit DICKTOWEL.COM now.

For those out there who want to double the bang for your wang, I found the following youtube video.  The instructor in this clip can be a little annoying  in some of his delivery, but he teaches you how to fold your towel into the shape of an origami penis.  This adds new dimensions to the entire concept, but be careful…  This may be the first time that anyone has folded a two-dicked towel into the shape of a huge 3-dimensional unit and there may be repercussions pertaining to paradoxes and the space-time continuum.

Dead C

Located in Seattle, Dead C is the founder/editor, as well as the principal writer and photographer, of Monster Fresh. Creating the site in 2007, he did so with a specific dream in mind. Unfortunately, being a muscle relaxer-fueled fever dream, it's hard to recall all of the details. "I remember that my mom was there, but it wasn't actually her in the dream, it was actually 70s heart throb, Jan Michael Vincent. And everything took place here, in this room... but it wasn't actually here... it was different. The colors were washed out and, for some reason, there was a raccoon kicking it with us and it was wearing a holographic monocle."

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