Hitler learns the Halloween Phish Album For Festival 8 [VIDEO]

October 8, 2009 in Comedy, Global Destruction, Movies / Television, Music, The Web, With Video

YouTube Preview Image

I just saw this video and actually laughed out loud over it.  I was in the middle of dealing with another post, but I had to drop everything to get this up here now, because:

(A) It’s relevancy is time specific

and

(2) I think people need to see it.

You may have seen the other similar versions of this video with different subtitles related to gaming, football, or even Michael Jackson.  It’s become a growing meme recently, but I feel that this PHISH-related video is still done particularly well.  If you’re curious about the original source footage, it was taken from a 2004 German-Austrian film titled Der Untergang (aka: Downfall).

If you’re feeling left in the dark, you can always check out a couple of our other Festival 8 related posts:

Last Record Left Alive : PHISH Festival 8 Halloween Musical Costume

Where the PHUCK is it Already?! [PHISH's Halloween Festival]

WALMART Offers Child Halloween Costumes of Birth Defects & Plastic Surgery

October 7, 2009 in Global Destruction, PSA, The Web

Walmart-Parasitic-Twin-order

I was just sent a Google instant message from our writer M. Hersted asking, “can you explain this costume to me? i have no idea what it is representing“  Along with his inquiry was a link to Walmart.com, which included the screen shot above.

The obvious first move in my investigation was to enlarge the product image and see what I could deduce from it.

Walmart-Parasitic-Twin-costume

Since I’m fairly positive that it’s not supposed to be a DEVO Booji Boy costume, I was at a loss.  Upon closer inspection, I noticed the dotted lines and arrows on the chest.  Along with the little medical booties, I made the conclusion that the segmented blue lines were supposed to represent pre-surgical markings and that the costume was supposed to simulate the body of a plastic surgery patient.  Still…. something wasn’t adding up. Read the rest of this entry →

Funny or Die Presents The Ed Hardy Boyz [VIDEO]

October 6, 2009 in Comedy, The Web, With Video

This video is from FunnyorDie.com.  This means that, if you click the link above, it will take you to the original page where you can vote if you think that it’s “Funny” or that you feel the video should “DIE“.  It’s a pretty simple concept and,  If you can’t handle it, you probably shouldn’t be operating a computer or any other equally complex piece of technology, anyway.

Beyond the obvious, 2 major things about this video really caught my attention:

The first is that I have been fairly outspoken about my feelings that Ed Hardy may be the new Cross Colours for the ought generation.  It’s all gaudy, over-done pieces that looks tacky as fuck, and that no one will admit to have ever worn in a few years.

The second thing that pleased me about the video was seeing an appearance by Brody Stevens as the belt buckle thief.  Most of you won’t know who the fuck Brody is, but I used to watch his Seattle public access show religiously when I was in high school.  Eventually, Stevens left to make his way in the glamorous world of Los Angeles and has been swimming around as a small fish ever since.  Even if it’s just the ex-suburban teenage potheads, some of us out here remember you from way back when and wish you success, sir.

Whether or not you choose to vote on Funny or Die, I’ve thrown together a little poll of my own.  Take a moment out of your precious lives and click a fucking button, will ya?

IS ED HARDY THE NEW CROSS COLOURS?

View Results

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Sufjan Stevens Films Something Concrete : “The BQE” Reviewed

October 5, 2009 in art, Global Destruction, Movies / Television, Music, Reviews

Sufjan-Stevens-BQE-Super-8

Multi-instrumentalist and songwriter, Sufjan Stevens earned his most notable success through 2005‘s Illinois album.  The 22-song ode to the Prairie State launched both Stevens and his “50 States Project” into the public eye.  In 2006, he followed it up with The Avalanche: Outtakes and Extras from the Illinois Album and a 5-disc box set of Christmas music but, since then, the releases have pretty much ceased.  There’s a strange conflict created in the logic of many of Sufjan‘s fans because, although they want to hear a “new” project from him, they are also focused around what the next installment of the last (50 States) project is gonna be.  People would often prefer to buy the same album over and over again than risk having an artist grow in a direction that is uncomfortable for them to deal with.  For anyone with logic and reasoning skills, it’s clear that Stevens will never write an album for each of the 50 states, unless technology and/or his work ethic changes drastically.  I don’t think that the artist’s intentions or claims are dishonest but, even by churning out an album every year, it would still take him until the age of 82 to finish the project.  Music aside, I am acquiring a growing respect for Sufjan‘s approach to the creative process, which involves healthy doses of patience, a virtue that I have trouble possessing.  His focus seems to be more about the process than the result and, whether or not you enjoy those results, his dedication and sincerity is undeniably commendable.  He seems to be content with investing as much time to create, or even re-structure, a project until it’s just the way he had envisioned.  In fact, October 6th marks the release of Run Rabbit Run, a reworking of his 2001 Chinese Zodiac-themed, electronic album Enjoy Your Rabbit; this time, with all string instruments.

Recently, I had the opportunity to view one of Steven‘s most ambitious projects yet.  In usual Sufjan fashion, The BQE is based around a very specific theme; The Brooklyn-Queens Expressway.  Like the 50 states Project, it’s geography based, and the music is completely instrumental, like that of Enjoy Your Rabbit.  There is one aspect that puts The BQE in stark contrast from any of his previous work, however, and that’s the fact that it’s also a film. Read the rest of this entry →

PHISH Thanksgiving in Albany? New Clues Suggest Fall Tour Dates may be Legit

October 2, 2009 in Music, The Web

phish promo

DATES CONFIRMED!

CLICK TO LINK

Collectively, PHISH fans can be some of the most paranoid, presumptuous, and speculating mother fuckers around, but it’s not necessarily their fault.  The band has been feeding into their own mythology from the very first moment that there was ever a sign that they may able to get away with it.  Over their five year hiatus, the big question was about when and if they’d return.  The assumptions and apparent “evidence” throughout that time were like that of the self-proclaimed “experts” on the apocalypse.  “The Mayan Calendar is proof!“  “Just read the bible!” “Take a look at the fucking ice caps!“  “Nostradamus foresaw this!” ….and such similar bullshit.  The obsession actually seemed to grow when they weren’t even performing as a unit anymore.  People were so focused that, when they suddenly announced their reformation quietly on their website, people were actually alert enough to notice it.  I want to reiterate that point because I think that it’s important: They had broken up for 5 YEARS, and people were still viewing their website every day!  After the reunion dates were set, the questions were, “When’s the tour?” and then “When’s the Westcoast tour!“  After that it was, “Where’s the 3-day festival gonna be?” and now it’s currently, “What album are they gonna cover on Halloween?“  They always have something up their sleeve for the future to keep people guessing continually.  Forums run rampant with this speculation to the point where there’s often a huge split between the cynical and overly certain and/or hopeful.  Everyone thinks that they have the scoop and it’s hard to know what information or sources are credible.  Sometimes, however, something pops up that’s so suspicious that it’s hard to doubt it. Read the rest of this entry →

Sham WOAH! : Slap Chop Rap Now an Official Infomercial

October 1, 2009 in Comedy, Movies / Television, Music, Technology, The Web, With Video

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By now, you’ve probably seen the sketchy, and now infamous, images above.  The mugshots are of Vince Shlomi (aka: Vince Offer) of ShamWow! infomercial fame and were taking back in Feb. 2009, after an altercation with a prostitute in Miami.  For those of you who are unfamiliar with the story, Shlomi was arrested for slapping the hooker across the chops repeatedly, resulting in fractures and lacerations all over her face.  The blood on his face corresponds with his claim that the woman had bit into his tongue and that he was forced to lay his goon hand down in an attempt to get her to release it.  If you look into Offer‘s past, you’ll see a history of other questionable moves, including a terribly misguided and vulgar comedy movie ,as well as three separate, bizarre lawsuits that he tried to file against The Farrelly Bros. , Anna Nicole Smith, and the Church of Scientology.  For the large majority, who were only aware of Shlomi from his ShamWow! and Slapchop infomercials, the arrest was shocking and extremely incriminating.

After the scandal, the airing of both commercials slowed tremendously.  At the end of June, Shlomi‘s arch rival and Oxyclean pitchman, Billy Mays died of complications relating to cocaine use and an existing heart condition.  Since, then, I began to see Shlomi‘s commercials resurface slowly, but his presence hasn’t ever really been as strong as it was before the release of the mugshots…. until now.

A couple of hours ago, I was relaxing on my couch when I realized that the the Slap Chop information was on television.  I was a little faded and thought that I was imagining it at first, but something was definitely different.  There was a song playing in the commercial that featured a crazy remix of the dialogue, processed through an auto-tuner and mixed over a techno beat. Read the rest of this entry →