For the most part, I hate blogs. I hate it when people ask me how my “BLOG” is doing because, in my delusional mind, I’m writing for a magazine. However, the internet today is all about immediacy. In a print publication, people don’t mind reading a 4 page interview. On the internet you’re “supposed to” post interviews comprised of the same 5 questions that everyone has already asked in every other publication. I know because commenters consistently inform me about what we are “supposed” to be doing. We don’t throw up 20+ posts a day, because we have no interest in quantity over quality. You should be able to learn something new and, if I’m going to research 40 different sources that I find interesting, they’re all getting crammed into one article. Sorry, I don’t give a fuck. It’s rare that we put up short posts unless we really think the subject matter is important. Michael Jackson‘s death is something that we feel strongly about.
I’m pretty honest with myself about the likelihood of MonsterFresh.com ever generating any money; It’s probably never going to happen. Sure, we get press releases and scoops for new high profile projects and shit everyday, but they’re easy to get and most of them don’t interest me so we don’t post them. If you want to generate traffic and make some loot, the formula is easy. For a music focused blog, you can simply post a Youtube video from a band performing on a late night program the night before. You can also make posts very simply by posting generic shit like, “Radiohead planning to do album with Justin Timberlake” etc. Just add a photo and you’re done; instant journalist! For art, you can just swipe an artist’s images from their page and post them without providing any links, credit, or information. It will get picked up by a site like DIGG.com or Stumbleupon and people will eat that shit up like crazy. People like to look at pictures…. it’s easier for everyone that way. Let the mounds of shit bury everything worth reading. Keep it superficial. Put anything and everything up that people are remotely interested in, from Beyonce to Travis Barker, and use no discretion whatsoever. Have no credibility either (you can’t have both). The greatest news is that, in this day and age, you can even become a celebrity by talking about other celebrities enough.
Unfortunately, I’m sure that everyone has heard of “celebrity blogger” Perez Hilton. He became “famous” by slightly altering the name of another no talent “celebrity” and by crudely scrawling catty comments on pictures of the Hollywood cool kids. He, along with the lol cats, epitomize what I despise about the internet and the instant gratification that so many have sought out and popularized. After gaining enough notice, he was invited by the hip crowd to finally join in on their reindeer games. If your job is to attack celebrities and you are kicking it with them as their tubby chum, then who do you speak for? Who are you representing? Hilton’s black eye [pictured above] was reported by the blogger to have been caused by Will.I.Am from the Black Eyed Peas. He recently twittered, or …sorry, “tweeted”, a bunch of shit about being struck by manager of the Pop Star (notice, I didn’t say rapper) while they were getting their party on. I got a call from a friend the other day begging for me to answer the question, “Didn’t the Black Eyed Peas used to be pretty good? I’m serious, I’m trying to figure out if I’m imagining this.” I confirmed that they used to collaborate with credible musicians like Mos Def and Posdnuous from De La Soul, before getting the ex-Kids Incorporated star to join their group. It’s all bullshit. These people are ridiculous, worthless, and, worst of all, they believe their own hype created from sucking each other’s dicks.
Today Perez Hilton has really proven how delusional he has actually become about his level of importance. Sure, I hate “blogging” but I feel that it’s fitting considering my target today. Hilton felt like he carried enough weight to publicly accuse, now deceased, Michael Jackson of faking his cardiac arrest.
[click photo to enlarge image and text]
This was the original post on PerezHilton.com when MJ‘s cardiac arrest information was original released to the press. We just found the image and text above via Twitpic with the text, “This is what Perez originally wrote about Michael Jackson.”
Of course, it has evaporated from Hilton‘s site like a ghost. It has been replaced with a new post about Jackson‘s death with a feigned sincerity of compassion, including the statement, “Such a sad loss, especially for his three young children.”
Personally, I’m all for talentless Hollywood dipshits tearing each other apart like jackals. I’d even be willing to claim that this guy is pretty bold to attack someone who was so much more talented and has contributed so much more to the world. By removing it from his site, however, it shows what a fucking tool he is; almost as much as it showed by posting it in the first place. I just wanted to help flip the table upside down on this clown. The internet age has, ironically, come back to bite this fool in the ass. It’s not as easy to sweep anything under the carpet anymore. I hope he feels like a damn fool and cries himself to sleep tonight with an empty tub of ice-cream and gravy.
Watch out buddy! Maybe you should rent “Can’t Buy Me Love” or bust our your copy of “Mean Girls” as little refreshers to how easy it is to lose your spot with the elite crowd. You could be headed back to your simple status as “the fat kid” in no time. Sorry, I don’t read his fucking blog…I hope that I was being catty enough.